Relationships are much like gardens. If you want either of them to flourish, you must take action.
Pick a Fertile Plot
It matters where you plant. Seeds struggle to germinate and survive in rocky soil or in areas where there is not enough sunlight. So it is with relationships (dating, marriage, friendships, parent/child, sibling, etc.). If there is constant conflict or too many stressful times, or if there is not enough shared fun, it will be hard, if not impossible, to grow a connection between two people.
Pick relationship "plots" where you can build on the ground of commonality. Do you like being with the other person? Are there things you like to do together? What do you have in common? Differences might attract, but they don't sustain a relationship. Instead, there needs to be an underlying friendship and a willingness for two people to partner together for common purposes.
Prepare the Soil
Once the plot has been chosen, there is work to be done. The ground must be prepared to host the seeds. Communication is the best tool available for preparing the soil of any long-lasting relationship. Be yourself. Share your thoughts, feelings, goals, and ideas. Don't assume things or expect the other person to read your mind. Open up and let him get to know you and your interests.
A wise person once said, "If you want to be understood, seek first to understand." Listening is vital to healthy communication. Listening is not passive; it is very active and requires attention to be good at it. Make direct eye contact. Don't formulate mental responses while the other person is talking. Be willing to listen with both ears, an open mind, and a closed mouth.
Plant with Enthusiasm
Successful gardeners don't simply go into the backyard, toss a handful of seeds on the ground, and then walk away and hope for the best. Instead they make a commitment to the garden. Yes, gardening can be enjoyable and relaxing, but it also can be hard work. To think otherwise is to be naive!
Likewise, relationships require enthusiastic commitment if they are to flourish and last. They need an investment of both time and energy in order to produce results. Connecting with another person demands that you commit yourself to that person come rain or shine, in both good and bad times. Neglecting the garden or your relationships is simply not an option if you expect them to grow and bloom.
Deal with Weeds and Pests
The garden begins to grow and it's starting to look great. But what is this? Weeds are popping up between the rows of vegetables, crowding out the plants. Aphids, beetles, and grubs are gnawing on the leaves and roots, and rabbits are eating off the flower heads. No faithful gardener would ever stand for this!
Likewise, you must deal with the pests and weeds in relationships. Conflict is inevitable in any relationships, even healthy ones. Avoiding conflict is not the answer. Ignoring problems does not make them go away. The silent treatment will cause a relationship to die on the vine, as will damaging the other person with hurtful words, accusations, and violence. You must talk it through and work it out peacefully and completely. Conflicts must be resolved for relationships to move forward.
Sometimes, it is necessary to call in a "master gardener." There is no shame in seeking outside objective help--like with a relationship therapist--to resolve conflict and learn how to get back to growing an abundant relationship.
Feed and Water
What you feed will grow; what you starve will die. This simple principle applies to gardening as well as to relationships. You can produce a hearty relationship crop by watering and feeding it with trust, respect, acceptance, and forgiveness. When these are missing in any relationship, the crop will fail. When they are present, the harvest will be plentiful.
Vickie Hull,
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Putting the magic back into your Relationship
Putting magic back into your relationship, especially after starting a family, is difficult. Marriage alone is a lot of work, and when children are added to the mix, there is additional stress. Before the children, you could prioritize and make decisions quickly and easily, based solely on your schedule and needs. Making decisions that affect the family are more complicated. Each day seems to run in the same cycle leaving you exhausted as you tumble into bed with your equally exhausted partner. Every moment of every day is assigned a task and you feel like you are just along for the ride.
The few minutes a day you see you partner are filled with feeding the family or getting the children ready for bed. If you have started to think about the "good 'ol days", when you had meaningful conversations and time to focus on each other, you are ready to take action. Putting magic back into your relationship does not need to include overhauling your schedule to make room for date night. The goal is to show your partner that you have not forgotten about them, and that you love them. This can start with small things you can do each day.
In the morning before leaving home, ask about your partners plan for the day. Is there something interesting or unusual occurring? This will take only a few moments and your partner will appreciate the interest. In the evening, ask about their day. Did it go as expected, or were there complications? Pay attention to the answers and be supportive. Chances are that your partner will reciprocate by asking about your day. This small act of reconnecting with one another is the first step to putting magic back into your relationship. At first, these steps will require effort, but it will get easier.
Taking a few minutes out of each day to focus on each other is another step in prioritizing your relationship. Show your affection by giving them a heart-felt kiss. Hold hands or cuddle when watching television. The physical contact can be soothing and stimulating at the same time. Putting magic back into your relationship can start by simply concentrating on the person you fell in love with. Strong, happy relationships do not just "happen". They require attention and work. Communicate as a couple, rather than as parents. This can bring back a dimension to your relationship that you have missed.
The few minutes a day you see you partner are filled with feeding the family or getting the children ready for bed. If you have started to think about the "good 'ol days", when you had meaningful conversations and time to focus on each other, you are ready to take action. Putting magic back into your relationship does not need to include overhauling your schedule to make room for date night. The goal is to show your partner that you have not forgotten about them, and that you love them. This can start with small things you can do each day.
In the morning before leaving home, ask about your partners plan for the day. Is there something interesting or unusual occurring? This will take only a few moments and your partner will appreciate the interest. In the evening, ask about their day. Did it go as expected, or were there complications? Pay attention to the answers and be supportive. Chances are that your partner will reciprocate by asking about your day. This small act of reconnecting with one another is the first step to putting magic back into your relationship. At first, these steps will require effort, but it will get easier.
Taking a few minutes out of each day to focus on each other is another step in prioritizing your relationship. Show your affection by giving them a heart-felt kiss. Hold hands or cuddle when watching television. The physical contact can be soothing and stimulating at the same time. Putting magic back into your relationship can start by simply concentrating on the person you fell in love with. Strong, happy relationships do not just "happen". They require attention and work. Communicate as a couple, rather than as parents. This can bring back a dimension to your relationship that you have missed.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Enjoying Single Life Today
As I woke up this morning I was full of such overwhelming joy. My reason simply was because I was alive. Only a week ago a friend had died under tragic circumstances. When people close to you die you begin to value life more. You also begin to review and reflect upon your own life, asking yourself questions like 'if I should die today what would people be saying about me?'
Too often we are focused on what we have not got what we want now or what we are yet to receive. So much so we fail to take stock of all we currently have in our lives. If we could just do this and have a heart full of gratitude for all the things God has done in our lives, any sadness we may feel can only turn into joy. After all our lives are in God's hands and as our heavenly father he only wants the best for us.
My friend who died lived life to the full despite having to go through a serious illness any other challenges. She never complained. She never allowed it to stop her from making the most out of life or being a blessing. She made every minute of her life count. She is now gone but has left a tangible mark on this earth. She set up a foundation before she died and her place of work has dedicated a suite after her. What an amazing life she lived.
I tell you this story just to make you stop for a moment to value the life you have. Irrespective of what your outward condition may be because of Christ that dwells within you, you can overcome. You do not need to allow that circumstance to control you. The word of God tells us we have dominion (Genesis 1:26).
If we therefore apply this to Singleness, it follows dominion can be achieved in this area. There is a song that says count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done Count your blessing name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Why do you not take time now and do a little exercise of recounting every blessing you have. You will be amazed about how blessed you really. And secondly how we take so many things for granted e.g. in my case, my health!
I hope I have given you food for thought. I would like you to take this a step further and to think about all the opportunities you have as a single. Opportunities that some married people are envious of!
1. PERSONAL FREEDOM - THE ABILITY TO "COME" AND "GO" FREELY WITHOUT HAVING TO ACCOUNT TO ANOTHER PERSON.
The freedom to do what you want, when you want! This is one of the most important gifts a single person has at their disposal; yet it is so often abused. You tend to realise the value of the freedom you have only when it is taken away from you or when you relinquish it. Marriage does not mean you lack freedom. It just means you are accountable to your spouse. Therefore, it is a valuable commodity for a single person. There is power and potential because you do not have to account to anyone unless you choose to.
2. TIME AND SPACE TO ESTABLISH WHO THEY ARE, DISCOVERING THEIR "RAISON DE VIVRE" I.E. WHAT DRIVES THEIR LIFE.
Positive and healthy relationships are based on two people coming together who are complete in themselves. Therefore, in order to have a fulfilling relationship you would need to know your reason and purpose for living. There is power in such knowledge as it helps you to keep focus and not get discouraged from the inevitable trials of life.
3. THE POTENTIAL FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH, LEARNING, TRAINING AND DEVELOPMENT
Singles have all the time to discover their identity, values, beliefs and philosophy to life. They are also able to study the word and single-mindedly pursue goals for themselves.
4. IT IS THE SEASON IN WHICH TO ESTABLISH THEIR LIFE MAP. WHERE THEY WANT TO GO AND WHAT THEY WANT TO BE
As individuals, we must find the right direction and means in achieving goals. It is important that as a single person, you have a vision and seek fulfilling means in reaching your goals.
5. THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAXIMIZE ONE'S SELF WORTH
Singles most often have the ability to give their all to their chosen aspirations and in so doing live to their full potential in life.
6. FREEDOM TO TRAVEL, DISCOVER CULTURES AND WAYS OF DOING THINGS
Singles are free to pursue interests such as culture, which widens global awareness and improves outlook on world issues.
7. THE UNRESTRICTED ABILITY TO BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS
As a single person, you can maximise your capability of reaching out to people and not take into account certain commitments and responsibilities which married people do.
8. THE GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO NETWORK AND DEVELOP BUSINESS AND SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
Single people have the opportunity and freedom to form a wide range of relationships as a result of connecting and meeting like-minded people.
9. THE CAPABILITY OF LIVING A FOCUSED LIFE - THE POWER TO FOCUS ON THEIR VISION, CAREER, BUSINESS AND DREAMS
When there are no distractions, you can single-mindedly focus on your career, vision and dreams. You have nobody you need to convince except yourself when you embark upon this.
10. FLEXIBILITY IN TERMS OF CAREER MOVEMENT - A SINGLE PERSON CAN PUT THEIR CAREER DEVELOPMENT INTO OVERDRIVE
Singles have the flexibility to explore opportunities of travelling in order to attain career goals, where necessary. Also to be single-minded in the pursuit of their career is an added bonus. The sky is the limit because there are fewer commitments.
The list is by no means exhaustive as there are other countless ways a single person can enjoy the power and potential of their single status. However, what this does is to give a snapshot of ways in which a single person can enjoy their singleness by acknowledging the advantageous position they are in because they are not married. The sky is the limit for every single person who understands that with God in their lives, they can do all things and in their single status, they have the freedom of choice to aim for the best.
Ade D&apos, Almeida
Too often we are focused on what we have not got what we want now or what we are yet to receive. So much so we fail to take stock of all we currently have in our lives. If we could just do this and have a heart full of gratitude for all the things God has done in our lives, any sadness we may feel can only turn into joy. After all our lives are in God's hands and as our heavenly father he only wants the best for us.
My friend who died lived life to the full despite having to go through a serious illness any other challenges. She never complained. She never allowed it to stop her from making the most out of life or being a blessing. She made every minute of her life count. She is now gone but has left a tangible mark on this earth. She set up a foundation before she died and her place of work has dedicated a suite after her. What an amazing life she lived.
I tell you this story just to make you stop for a moment to value the life you have. Irrespective of what your outward condition may be because of Christ that dwells within you, you can overcome. You do not need to allow that circumstance to control you. The word of God tells us we have dominion (Genesis 1:26).
If we therefore apply this to Singleness, it follows dominion can be achieved in this area. There is a song that says count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done Count your blessing name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Why do you not take time now and do a little exercise of recounting every blessing you have. You will be amazed about how blessed you really. And secondly how we take so many things for granted e.g. in my case, my health!
I hope I have given you food for thought. I would like you to take this a step further and to think about all the opportunities you have as a single. Opportunities that some married people are envious of!
1. PERSONAL FREEDOM - THE ABILITY TO "COME" AND "GO" FREELY WITHOUT HAVING TO ACCOUNT TO ANOTHER PERSON.
The freedom to do what you want, when you want! This is one of the most important gifts a single person has at their disposal; yet it is so often abused. You tend to realise the value of the freedom you have only when it is taken away from you or when you relinquish it. Marriage does not mean you lack freedom. It just means you are accountable to your spouse. Therefore, it is a valuable commodity for a single person. There is power and potential because you do not have to account to anyone unless you choose to.
2. TIME AND SPACE TO ESTABLISH WHO THEY ARE, DISCOVERING THEIR "RAISON DE VIVRE" I.E. WHAT DRIVES THEIR LIFE.
Positive and healthy relationships are based on two people coming together who are complete in themselves. Therefore, in order to have a fulfilling relationship you would need to know your reason and purpose for living. There is power in such knowledge as it helps you to keep focus and not get discouraged from the inevitable trials of life.
3. THE POTENTIAL FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH, LEARNING, TRAINING AND DEVELOPMENT
Singles have all the time to discover their identity, values, beliefs and philosophy to life. They are also able to study the word and single-mindedly pursue goals for themselves.
4. IT IS THE SEASON IN WHICH TO ESTABLISH THEIR LIFE MAP. WHERE THEY WANT TO GO AND WHAT THEY WANT TO BE
As individuals, we must find the right direction and means in achieving goals. It is important that as a single person, you have a vision and seek fulfilling means in reaching your goals.
5. THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAXIMIZE ONE'S SELF WORTH
Singles most often have the ability to give their all to their chosen aspirations and in so doing live to their full potential in life.
6. FREEDOM TO TRAVEL, DISCOVER CULTURES AND WAYS OF DOING THINGS
Singles are free to pursue interests such as culture, which widens global awareness and improves outlook on world issues.
7. THE UNRESTRICTED ABILITY TO BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS
As a single person, you can maximise your capability of reaching out to people and not take into account certain commitments and responsibilities which married people do.
8. THE GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO NETWORK AND DEVELOP BUSINESS AND SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
Single people have the opportunity and freedom to form a wide range of relationships as a result of connecting and meeting like-minded people.
9. THE CAPABILITY OF LIVING A FOCUSED LIFE - THE POWER TO FOCUS ON THEIR VISION, CAREER, BUSINESS AND DREAMS
When there are no distractions, you can single-mindedly focus on your career, vision and dreams. You have nobody you need to convince except yourself when you embark upon this.
10. FLEXIBILITY IN TERMS OF CAREER MOVEMENT - A SINGLE PERSON CAN PUT THEIR CAREER DEVELOPMENT INTO OVERDRIVE
Singles have the flexibility to explore opportunities of travelling in order to attain career goals, where necessary. Also to be single-minded in the pursuit of their career is an added bonus. The sky is the limit because there are fewer commitments.
The list is by no means exhaustive as there are other countless ways a single person can enjoy the power and potential of their single status. However, what this does is to give a snapshot of ways in which a single person can enjoy their singleness by acknowledging the advantageous position they are in because they are not married. The sky is the limit for every single person who understands that with God in their lives, they can do all things and in their single status, they have the freedom of choice to aim for the best.
Ade D&apos, Almeida
Signs That He or She is Just not inot you
The movie "He's Just Not That Into You" should be viewed by anyone who has struggled in the dating world.
It gives you a clear cut view into the excuses we all make for ourselves and each other that get in the way of getting some booty and/or finding our true love.
The gist of the movie is that from their earliest crushes, girls are programmed to believe that if a guy is a jerk to you it means he likes you.
The movie starts out with a little girl in the sandbox googly eyed at a little boy who comes over, pushes her down and tells her she smells like poop.
When the little girl cries and tells her mother, the mother smiles big and says, oh honey, that means he likes you!
And that's where the problem begins.
The hero in the movie is Alex, a dating savvy bartender who knows how to read every single either gender ever sends out and stays professionally detached from any hint of a real relationship, instead being a player. But he gives fantastic advice to Gigi, a bumbler in the realm of love and dating.
" So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions," Alex tells Gigi.
Throughout the movie, there are signs of how to tell a guy (or girl for that matter) is just not into you, which frankly, my dears, should be obvious without you reading this article.
* He doesn't call.
If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.
You can make excuses all day long about how maybe he didn't call because he was in a car crash and is hospitalized or a sudden family death took him out of town or that he lost your number, but let's face it, if he didn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.
As Alex tells Gigi, if a guy wants to get ahold of you, he will find a way.
For instance, Alex says, he once called 52 Sherry Smiths (or whatever name he used) before he found the one he was looking for.
* He gives you his card and/or number.
Even if he takes your number, as well, this is a big red flag.
"He's not interested," is the verdict from our dating savvy bartender. "If a guy wants to see you, believe me, he will see you."
Here are some other thoughts shared in this movie about whether someone is into you or not. In this case signs of a woman NOT being into you.
If she's not sleeping with you after a month or two months -- she doesn't like you.
If she calls you cuddly or dependable -- she doesn't like you.
If she pops a zit in front of you -- she doesn't like you.
If she takes a dump in front of you -- she doesn't like you.
It's not rocket science, but these are all good rules of thumb.
As Alex says in the movie, If a girl likes me great, if not, there's a whole lot more out there like her, probably with smaller pores and implants.
Bill Preston
It gives you a clear cut view into the excuses we all make for ourselves and each other that get in the way of getting some booty and/or finding our true love.
The gist of the movie is that from their earliest crushes, girls are programmed to believe that if a guy is a jerk to you it means he likes you.
The movie starts out with a little girl in the sandbox googly eyed at a little boy who comes over, pushes her down and tells her she smells like poop.
When the little girl cries and tells her mother, the mother smiles big and says, oh honey, that means he likes you!
And that's where the problem begins.
The hero in the movie is Alex, a dating savvy bartender who knows how to read every single either gender ever sends out and stays professionally detached from any hint of a real relationship, instead being a player. But he gives fantastic advice to Gigi, a bumbler in the realm of love and dating.
" So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions," Alex tells Gigi.
Throughout the movie, there are signs of how to tell a guy (or girl for that matter) is just not into you, which frankly, my dears, should be obvious without you reading this article.
* He doesn't call.
If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.
You can make excuses all day long about how maybe he didn't call because he was in a car crash and is hospitalized or a sudden family death took him out of town or that he lost your number, but let's face it, if he didn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.
As Alex tells Gigi, if a guy wants to get ahold of you, he will find a way.
For instance, Alex says, he once called 52 Sherry Smiths (or whatever name he used) before he found the one he was looking for.
* He gives you his card and/or number.
Even if he takes your number, as well, this is a big red flag.
"He's not interested," is the verdict from our dating savvy bartender. "If a guy wants to see you, believe me, he will see you."
Here are some other thoughts shared in this movie about whether someone is into you or not. In this case signs of a woman NOT being into you.
If she's not sleeping with you after a month or two months -- she doesn't like you.
If she calls you cuddly or dependable -- she doesn't like you.
If she pops a zit in front of you -- she doesn't like you.
If she takes a dump in front of you -- she doesn't like you.
It's not rocket science, but these are all good rules of thumb.
As Alex says in the movie, If a girl likes me great, if not, there's a whole lot more out there like her, probably with smaller pores and implants.
Bill Preston
Sunday, October 25, 2009
How to give a Woman a mind blowing Clitoral Orgasm every time
Its well known that the easiest way to give a woman an orgasm is through direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. Learning how to stimulate the clitoris will make it much easier for you to give a woman sexual satisfaction and intense orgasmic pleasure.
The clitoris is a small bean shaped mass of flesh located by the vaginal entrance at the top of the labia minora. Its often covered by a clitoral hood to give it protection throughout the day because its very sensitive due to the high concentration of nerve endings that it contains. The clitoris extends all the way to the bottom of the pubic bone and only a small part is actually visible.
Its important to point out that the clitoris can't be sufficiently stimulated by the penis alone which is one of the reasons why so many women fail to reach orgasm. This means that traditional intercourse usually needs to be accompanied with manual clitoral stimulation using your fingers if you want to give her the kind of orgasmic pleasure that she craves.
Some couples prefer to bring each other to orgasm separately which can be very effective but its usually not the most satisfactory approach. A much better option would be to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse as this can be a great way for couples to reach orgasm at the same time.
Its important to experiment because not all women like the same type of stimulation. Some women enjoy direct stimulation but others may find it slightly uncomfortable and prefer to have the area around the clitoris stimulated instead. Women who have experimented with masturbation in the past will usually know what type of stimulation they prefer so you just have to ask.
When a woman becomes aroused during foreplay, the clitoris fills up with blood and becomes erect in a similar way to the penis. After repeated stimulation, it will become fully engorged which further heightens its sensitivity until a point is reached when all of the tension in the area must be released in the form of an orgasm. Its the build up of sexual tension and arousal that will ensure that you have the best chance of bringing her to orgasm.
Clitoral orgasms can be achieved in many different ways so its important to find out exactly what your partner likes and dislikes which is why communication is essential. Since the area around the clitoris is highly sensitive, experimenting with these types of orgasms can help to spice up your sex life and make you more enthusiastic about having intercourse on a regular basis.
Andy Edmonds
The clitoris is a small bean shaped mass of flesh located by the vaginal entrance at the top of the labia minora. Its often covered by a clitoral hood to give it protection throughout the day because its very sensitive due to the high concentration of nerve endings that it contains. The clitoris extends all the way to the bottom of the pubic bone and only a small part is actually visible.
Its important to point out that the clitoris can't be sufficiently stimulated by the penis alone which is one of the reasons why so many women fail to reach orgasm. This means that traditional intercourse usually needs to be accompanied with manual clitoral stimulation using your fingers if you want to give her the kind of orgasmic pleasure that she craves.
Some couples prefer to bring each other to orgasm separately which can be very effective but its usually not the most satisfactory approach. A much better option would be to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse as this can be a great way for couples to reach orgasm at the same time.
Its important to experiment because not all women like the same type of stimulation. Some women enjoy direct stimulation but others may find it slightly uncomfortable and prefer to have the area around the clitoris stimulated instead. Women who have experimented with masturbation in the past will usually know what type of stimulation they prefer so you just have to ask.
When a woman becomes aroused during foreplay, the clitoris fills up with blood and becomes erect in a similar way to the penis. After repeated stimulation, it will become fully engorged which further heightens its sensitivity until a point is reached when all of the tension in the area must be released in the form of an orgasm. Its the build up of sexual tension and arousal that will ensure that you have the best chance of bringing her to orgasm.
Clitoral orgasms can be achieved in many different ways so its important to find out exactly what your partner likes and dislikes which is why communication is essential. Since the area around the clitoris is highly sensitive, experimenting with these types of orgasms can help to spice up your sex life and make you more enthusiastic about having intercourse on a regular basis.
Andy Edmonds
Three Tricks to stop Premature ejaculation
The harmful effects of ejaculating prematurely go far beyond problems in the bedroom. Beyond being embarrassing, it can cause problems all around the relationship. And for all this, many men are looking for a solution, so here are three tricks to stop premature ejaculation.
First, for one of the more fun tricks to stop premature ejaculation, I absolutely recommend that you try experimenting with different sexual positions. It's very possible that you'll find one is less sensitive for you but is just as pleasurable for your partner. This way you can resort to this position anytime you need to, and meanwhile this also encourages experimentation the bedroom which is a great way to get your sexual relationship back on track.
Another one of these tricks to stop premature ejaculation involves nutrition. There are changes to be made in your diet which can affect your hormone level. Hormones play arguably the largest role in causing a man to ejaculate prematurely, so focusing on a more vegetarian based diet can have a substantial effect on your ability to control your orgasm.
The last of these tricks to stop premature ejaculation entails doing simple exercises which you can do to retrain your body to last longer when engaging in sexual intercourse. Many men pick up and develop bad masturbatory habits earlier on in their lives and for this your body needs to be retrained by doing some of the many exercises designed to give you greater control over your orgasm and benefit your sexual health in other ways, as well.
by Peter Doyers
First, for one of the more fun tricks to stop premature ejaculation, I absolutely recommend that you try experimenting with different sexual positions. It's very possible that you'll find one is less sensitive for you but is just as pleasurable for your partner. This way you can resort to this position anytime you need to, and meanwhile this also encourages experimentation the bedroom which is a great way to get your sexual relationship back on track.
Another one of these tricks to stop premature ejaculation involves nutrition. There are changes to be made in your diet which can affect your hormone level. Hormones play arguably the largest role in causing a man to ejaculate prematurely, so focusing on a more vegetarian based diet can have a substantial effect on your ability to control your orgasm.
The last of these tricks to stop premature ejaculation entails doing simple exercises which you can do to retrain your body to last longer when engaging in sexual intercourse. Many men pick up and develop bad masturbatory habits earlier on in their lives and for this your body needs to be retrained by doing some of the many exercises designed to give you greater control over your orgasm and benefit your sexual health in other ways, as well.
by Peter Doyers
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Danger - These 10 Mistakes can kill your relationhip
No relationship is perfect. However, there are several serious pitfalls that will end a relationship very quickly if you don't try to avoid them.
The 10 items below are some of the most common and serious mistakes than can keep you from having the lasting relationship you want.
1. Cheating.
Being unfaithful is the number one way to end a relationship. If you want to see someone else, be responsible enough to end your relationship first. Anything else is just being dishonest and cowardly.
2. Hanging on to Your Ex.
While it's very important to remember your past mistakes, it's also important to move on. If you're still hung up on your ex, perhaps it's too early to start a new relationship. Even when you think you have no feelings left, if you're stuck in a pattern of bringing up your ex all the time when you talk with your new partner, you should do some serious thinking about where you've been and where you're heading. Your current partner deserves your full attention. It's only fair.
3. Rushing Things.
Relationships develop at their own pace. Some move quickly, others move slowly and steadily. If you push your partner too much, you risk pushing them away. Two prime examples of this are the timing of physical intimacy and saying "I love you." Both of these things are best when they happen naturally. You'll both know when the time is right and the relationship won't be strained.
4. Being Ruled by Jealousy.
Often feelings of intense jealousy are caused by past relationships. If your partner is open and honest, you shouldn't feel threatened by incidental contact with someone else. Conversation and interaction is normal. Trust is also important. If you become jealous with your partner without real cause, it can seriously harm your relationship.
5. Focusing too Much on the Future.
When relationships are new, it's not the time to dwell too much on the future. Live for the day. The flush of excitement of a new relationship only happens once. Instead of worrying about what's coming next, enjoy what you have now. Often when one partner is too concerned about the future, the other partner is scared away thinking that they are too serious. Again, live for the moment and enjoy where you are.
6. Failure to Balance Friendships With the Relationship.
It's important for each of you to have friends. People often take things very personally when someone talks badly about a friend. Because of these two things, it's critical to allow your partner time with and for their friends while avoiding talking badly about them. No one is perfect - most of our friends have quirks. Just remember that your friends can be a little strange, too. Finally, don't feel threatened when your partner wants to do something with their friends.
7. Failure to Communicate.
Open honest communication is one of the most important things in a healthy relationship. When you keep secrets or even feel too embarrassed to discuss your thoughts, it can build walls between you and your partner. Yes, there is a risk that your feelings or thoughts might end up causing problems in the relationship. However, if there's a break-up because you're not compatible, that's OK. In fact it's far better to find that out than to pretend you're something you're not.
8. Forcing your Partner to Change.
This is the flip-side of #7. If you can't accept who your partner is, you probably should find someone else. When you force your partner to change, there is often resentment and the changes rarely last. Even when a partner has a real problem, we can't "fix" them. We can encourage, but if they don't commit to the change on their own, it just won't happen.
9. Blaming Your Partner.
A relationship takes two people. So do relationship problems. It can be very difficult and often painful to admit our part in relationship problems, but an honest look at our actions is critical. If you expect your partner to face the blame for a problem all alone, don't be surprised when they don't want to do anything else with your either.
10. Staying After the Feeling is Gone.
If you're just going through the motions in a relationship, your partner knows it. If the relationship is worth saving, you both need to talk and find a way to reignite the spark If not, you should be honest enough to admit that the relationship is over. Often we're stuck in these ruts because the uncomfortable "known" seems better than the scary "unknown." In reality, a flat relationship will not last, and will often lead to serious conflict.
by Doug
The 10 items below are some of the most common and serious mistakes than can keep you from having the lasting relationship you want.
1. Cheating.
Being unfaithful is the number one way to end a relationship. If you want to see someone else, be responsible enough to end your relationship first. Anything else is just being dishonest and cowardly.
2. Hanging on to Your Ex.
While it's very important to remember your past mistakes, it's also important to move on. If you're still hung up on your ex, perhaps it's too early to start a new relationship. Even when you think you have no feelings left, if you're stuck in a pattern of bringing up your ex all the time when you talk with your new partner, you should do some serious thinking about where you've been and where you're heading. Your current partner deserves your full attention. It's only fair.
3. Rushing Things.
Relationships develop at their own pace. Some move quickly, others move slowly and steadily. If you push your partner too much, you risk pushing them away. Two prime examples of this are the timing of physical intimacy and saying "I love you." Both of these things are best when they happen naturally. You'll both know when the time is right and the relationship won't be strained.
4. Being Ruled by Jealousy.
Often feelings of intense jealousy are caused by past relationships. If your partner is open and honest, you shouldn't feel threatened by incidental contact with someone else. Conversation and interaction is normal. Trust is also important. If you become jealous with your partner without real cause, it can seriously harm your relationship.
5. Focusing too Much on the Future.
When relationships are new, it's not the time to dwell too much on the future. Live for the day. The flush of excitement of a new relationship only happens once. Instead of worrying about what's coming next, enjoy what you have now. Often when one partner is too concerned about the future, the other partner is scared away thinking that they are too serious. Again, live for the moment and enjoy where you are.
6. Failure to Balance Friendships With the Relationship.
It's important for each of you to have friends. People often take things very personally when someone talks badly about a friend. Because of these two things, it's critical to allow your partner time with and for their friends while avoiding talking badly about them. No one is perfect - most of our friends have quirks. Just remember that your friends can be a little strange, too. Finally, don't feel threatened when your partner wants to do something with their friends.
7. Failure to Communicate.
Open honest communication is one of the most important things in a healthy relationship. When you keep secrets or even feel too embarrassed to discuss your thoughts, it can build walls between you and your partner. Yes, there is a risk that your feelings or thoughts might end up causing problems in the relationship. However, if there's a break-up because you're not compatible, that's OK. In fact it's far better to find that out than to pretend you're something you're not.
8. Forcing your Partner to Change.
This is the flip-side of #7. If you can't accept who your partner is, you probably should find someone else. When you force your partner to change, there is often resentment and the changes rarely last. Even when a partner has a real problem, we can't "fix" them. We can encourage, but if they don't commit to the change on their own, it just won't happen.
9. Blaming Your Partner.
A relationship takes two people. So do relationship problems. It can be very difficult and often painful to admit our part in relationship problems, but an honest look at our actions is critical. If you expect your partner to face the blame for a problem all alone, don't be surprised when they don't want to do anything else with your either.
10. Staying After the Feeling is Gone.
If you're just going through the motions in a relationship, your partner knows it. If the relationship is worth saving, you both need to talk and find a way to reignite the spark If not, you should be honest enough to admit that the relationship is over. Often we're stuck in these ruts because the uncomfortable "known" seems better than the scary "unknown." In reality, a flat relationship will not last, and will often lead to serious conflict.
by Doug
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