Is your boyfriend cheating on you? He might be--look for these five tell-tale signs if you suspect he's not being faithful to you.
1) Being unavailable and showing inconsistency when he is supposed to meet you. Is he ignoring you by not returning your calls, or not making any efforts to show up when you've already agreed to meet? If so, he may be seeing someone else. As soon as you notice any changes in his pattern of contacting you, be suspicious.
2) He's changed his appearance. Has your boyfriend gone from being a slob to a preppy overnight? Has he ditched his glasses for contact lenses or had LASIK surgery recently. Or maybe he's lost a lot of weight, or become a gym rat after being a couch potato for years? Any sudden changes like these should be a warning bell that he is either seeing someone else, or thinking about it. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, he might become a fashion plate after years of not caring about his appearance.
3) He's cheated on you in the past. Unfortunately, even though many swear upon their very lives that they would never cheat on you again, the fact that they once cheated makes it more likely that they will cheat again in the future.
4) He suddenly starts getting secretive. If he previously took all his phone calls in your presence, then suddenly starts leaving the room when he gets a call, you should wonder why he needs so much privacy all of a sudden. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, changes in behavior like this one are a big tip off.
5) He begins spending a lot of money, when he's been a tightwad. Has he bought a new sports car after being happy with a beat-up pickup truck for years? Is is buying Aramis when Old Spice has been plenty good enough in the past? Is he suddenly packing to go on business trips when he is a customer-service agent in a call center? Any changes in spending or travel habits should raise the alarm.
Is your boyfriend really cheating on you? Perhaps, perhaps not. Being armed with this list will help you be prepared to face this possibility. Even cheating doesn't mean your relationship is over if you know the steps to take to win back your man.
Jen Thomas
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Dealing With Insecure Relationship
If one or both partners in a relationship are insecure, it can be a really unhealthy, and unstable relationship. It is normal to be insecure about certain things in your life, but an over-abundance of insecurities within a relationship can lead to its break up. This is why it is so important to deal with insecure relationships before they get out of control.
When you start dealing with insecure relationships, you should always start with yourself. Make a list of things you are insecure about. Do you feel paranoid that your lover is cheating on you, even though you have been given no reason to believe this is true? This is an insecurity that needs to be dealt with fast.
But, how do you deal with such a problem? The best way is to start learning how to love yourself. There are a variety of ways to do this but the most effective is with the use of a psychologist. A psychologist or counsellor can provide you with the tools you need to push your insecurities aside and learn to live without them.
If your partner has insecurities as well, you may want to consider relationship counselling. This can be a huge benefit for both of you, and a great place where you can simply get all of the issues out in the open, and then go through them one by one. By assessing the issues with your relationship, you can take the appropriate actions to fix it.
Insecure relationships are never healthy, and eventually you will both get to a point where you can just no longer deal with it anymore. You may begin to resent each other and it could become worse if you don't trust each other like you should be. Getting the help you need at this point is the best thing you can do in this situation.
R. Kain
When you start dealing with insecure relationships, you should always start with yourself. Make a list of things you are insecure about. Do you feel paranoid that your lover is cheating on you, even though you have been given no reason to believe this is true? This is an insecurity that needs to be dealt with fast.
But, how do you deal with such a problem? The best way is to start learning how to love yourself. There are a variety of ways to do this but the most effective is with the use of a psychologist. A psychologist or counsellor can provide you with the tools you need to push your insecurities aside and learn to live without them.
If your partner has insecurities as well, you may want to consider relationship counselling. This can be a huge benefit for both of you, and a great place where you can simply get all of the issues out in the open, and then go through them one by one. By assessing the issues with your relationship, you can take the appropriate actions to fix it.
Insecure relationships are never healthy, and eventually you will both get to a point where you can just no longer deal with it anymore. You may begin to resent each other and it could become worse if you don't trust each other like you should be. Getting the help you need at this point is the best thing you can do in this situation.
R. Kain
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Importance of Leaving an Abusive Relationship
Unfortunately, even in our modern society, men and women everywhere in the country are the victims of an abusive marriage. The worst part is that many of these victims don't see themselves as such, because they either do not know the signs or they will not admit to themselves that they are being abused. If you suspect that you are in an abusive marriage, you should think about what is at stake by staying in an unhealthy relationship and consider hiring a divorce lawyer.
What Is Abuse?
One of the biggest problems with abuse in this country is that many people do not realize that they are the victims of it. It can be difficult to step back and fairly assess the health of your relationship, especially if you've become used to it over several years. Recognizing abuse is therefore a very important part of being able to overcome it.
Abuse is any action in which one partner attempts to strip power from the other, whether it be physical or emotional.
You may be the victim of abuse if your partner:
Threatens physical violence
Hits you, kicks your, or otherwise inflicts physical violence
Constantly criticizes you over small things
Is jealous of your relationships with friends and family
Insults and embarrasses you deliberately in front of your friends and family
Becomes violent or abusive when drinking or doing drugs
Threatens to hurt the children
Many abusive relationships persist because the abuser engages in a cycle of threats, violence, and apology. Women in particular are often induced to stay in relationships after tearful apologies and promises of love. However, actions speak louder than words, as they say, and merely saying sorry and never correcting the behavior is hardly an apology.
It is also important to consider the well-being of any children in the marriage, as they are also victims of abuse. They are being affected by the abuse, if not physically, then in a long-term emotional and mental sense. Many psychologists assert that children are negatively affected by conflict, not necessarily divorce. If they continue to live in a violent household, they will almost certainly be negatively affected psychologically. These children develop attachment problems and are more likely to engage in abuse themselves later in life.
If you are the victim of an abusive partner, you owe it to yourself and to any children you have to get out of the relationship and on with your life. If you are married, you may want to contact a lawyer as soon as possible and get the divorce proceedings in motion.
by Joseph Devine
What Is Abuse?
One of the biggest problems with abuse in this country is that many people do not realize that they are the victims of it. It can be difficult to step back and fairly assess the health of your relationship, especially if you've become used to it over several years. Recognizing abuse is therefore a very important part of being able to overcome it.
Abuse is any action in which one partner attempts to strip power from the other, whether it be physical or emotional.
You may be the victim of abuse if your partner:
Threatens physical violence
Hits you, kicks your, or otherwise inflicts physical violence
Constantly criticizes you over small things
Is jealous of your relationships with friends and family
Insults and embarrasses you deliberately in front of your friends and family
Becomes violent or abusive when drinking or doing drugs
Threatens to hurt the children
Many abusive relationships persist because the abuser engages in a cycle of threats, violence, and apology. Women in particular are often induced to stay in relationships after tearful apologies and promises of love. However, actions speak louder than words, as they say, and merely saying sorry and never correcting the behavior is hardly an apology.
It is also important to consider the well-being of any children in the marriage, as they are also victims of abuse. They are being affected by the abuse, if not physically, then in a long-term emotional and mental sense. Many psychologists assert that children are negatively affected by conflict, not necessarily divorce. If they continue to live in a violent household, they will almost certainly be negatively affected psychologically. These children develop attachment problems and are more likely to engage in abuse themselves later in life.
If you are the victim of an abusive partner, you owe it to yourself and to any children you have to get out of the relationship and on with your life. If you are married, you may want to contact a lawyer as soon as possible and get the divorce proceedings in motion.
by Joseph Devine
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Why Are Men Scared Of Commitment?
It is not uncommon for guys to be scared of commitment and so you ask "why are men scared of commitment?" Commitment seems to be the hardest thing that you can get from a guy. In reality, men are always jittery when it comes to marriage and family. Scared enough that they would want to pack up and go away from you. Settling down for some guys seems to be an elusive thing. Find out some of his reasons below.
1 - He is not free anymore. This is the most common reason when it comes to the question "why are men scared of commitment." Well, to admit the fact when you are committed to a relationship, you will loose a certain freedom for yourself. This means you will always take into account the other person in no matter what you do.
2 - He feels like his privacy is invaded. Men always feel protective of their own privately built space. They usually don't like it when they have to share something they consider as their own. They don't especially have any inkling to like it when they see girl stuffs cluttering their room, their closet and bathroom.
3 - He is immature. When a guy accepts that he is immature that is why he can't commit, acknowledge this and appreciate him because he was able to admit the truth to himself and that it will be a good thing for you both. You will only have problems later on if you force him to commit himself to you.
4 - He experienced traumatic event before. A big impact on a man's ego as well as in his commitment is when he experienced something traumatic like some woman he went serious with and was willing to spend forever with before has coldly broke his heart of something to that effect.
If you ask "why are men scared of commitment," you should also ask yourself the same thing. Men and women alike share common fears when it comes to commitment.
1 - He is not free anymore. This is the most common reason when it comes to the question "why are men scared of commitment." Well, to admit the fact when you are committed to a relationship, you will loose a certain freedom for yourself. This means you will always take into account the other person in no matter what you do.
2 - He feels like his privacy is invaded. Men always feel protective of their own privately built space. They usually don't like it when they have to share something they consider as their own. They don't especially have any inkling to like it when they see girl stuffs cluttering their room, their closet and bathroom.
3 - He is immature. When a guy accepts that he is immature that is why he can't commit, acknowledge this and appreciate him because he was able to admit the truth to himself and that it will be a good thing for you both. You will only have problems later on if you force him to commit himself to you.
4 - He experienced traumatic event before. A big impact on a man's ego as well as in his commitment is when he experienced something traumatic like some woman he went serious with and was willing to spend forever with before has coldly broke his heart of something to that effect.
If you ask "why are men scared of commitment," you should also ask yourself the same thing. Men and women alike share common fears when it comes to commitment.
Question - Are You Ready For Marriage?
Are you really ready for marriage? What exactly does that question mean? Of course we're ready you might say. We love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together.
OK, fine you love each and love is very important and it can transcend everything else but people can fall out of love very quickly.
There are other things that go to make a long and happy marriage. And it is important that each of you should ask each other the 5 essential questions below and listen very carefully to each others answers about how you truly FEEL.
#1 Children
Do you want to have children? If so, how do you want to bring them up?
#2 Religion
How strong are your beliefs, if any? How do you feel about church and church going?
3# Money
How do you feel about money? Are you a spender or a saver?
#4 Family
How do you really feel about each others families?
#5 Sex
How important do you feel sex is in a marriage?
There are many more questions you can ask each about subjects like what food do you really like? What's your favorite vacation or hobby or movie star, is your partner dependable and trustworthy.
But asking the 5 questions above are essential, if you wish to live together in harmony for the rest of your lives.
Why, you might question, should knowing each others TRUE FEELINGS about the subjects above be essential to your marriage plans?
The answer is very simple: Children, Religious belief, Money, Family, and Sex are the BIGGEST CAUSES OF DIVORCE in the USA today. Almost 50% of marriages end in divorce these days and the problems that lead to divorce are usually caused by one or more of the subjects listed above . Relationship experts believe that if all couples planning to get married asked each other the five questions above before they tied the knot they could cut the chances of their marriage ending in divorce by half!
So to all you couples planning to get married, question each other carefully on the 5 subjects above BEFORE you make that final commitment to spending the rest of your lives together.
by Dave A Patrick
OK, fine you love each and love is very important and it can transcend everything else but people can fall out of love very quickly.
There are other things that go to make a long and happy marriage. And it is important that each of you should ask each other the 5 essential questions below and listen very carefully to each others answers about how you truly FEEL.
#1 Children
Do you want to have children? If so, how do you want to bring them up?
#2 Religion
How strong are your beliefs, if any? How do you feel about church and church going?
3# Money
How do you feel about money? Are you a spender or a saver?
#4 Family
How do you really feel about each others families?
#5 Sex
How important do you feel sex is in a marriage?
There are many more questions you can ask each about subjects like what food do you really like? What's your favorite vacation or hobby or movie star, is your partner dependable and trustworthy.
But asking the 5 questions above are essential, if you wish to live together in harmony for the rest of your lives.
Why, you might question, should knowing each others TRUE FEELINGS about the subjects above be essential to your marriage plans?
The answer is very simple: Children, Religious belief, Money, Family, and Sex are the BIGGEST CAUSES OF DIVORCE in the USA today. Almost 50% of marriages end in divorce these days and the problems that lead to divorce are usually caused by one or more of the subjects listed above . Relationship experts believe that if all couples planning to get married asked each other the five questions above before they tied the knot they could cut the chances of their marriage ending in divorce by half!
So to all you couples planning to get married, question each other carefully on the 5 subjects above BEFORE you make that final commitment to spending the rest of your lives together.
by Dave A Patrick
Great "Can't Miss" Marriage Proposal Ideas
It's one of the most important and scary time of their lives for most guys; the marriage proposal. Sure, you're excited to ask her to marry you, but at the same time there's that little bit of nagging doubt tucked away in the back of your mind. Not to worry, there are some fantastic ways to propose that will all but guarantee that she says yes.
The romantic dinner proposal idea - This is a classic, but it's not for nothing that it is so popular. If you really want it to be a smashing success, you'll have to spice it up a bit though. There are a few things you can add to any situation that will make it more romantic, and your marriage proposal is definitely one time where you want as much romance as you can get. Just about all women love romance, and this is surely the time to give it to them.
Some great things to incorporate into your dinner are a spectacular sunset, and ocean view, a crackling fire, and twinkling stars overhead.
The top of the mountain idea - Proposing to your girlfriend out in the vastness of a major mountain range is a great idea if she's into the outdoors and outdoor activity. Go to one of the major ski areas, preferably in the Rocky Mountains, the Sierra's, Alps, or one of the other ski areas with real mountains. At the top of many of these areas you have an unmatched view, with the mountain range peaks stretching before you. Drop to one knee in the snow and ask her, with the spectacle of the mountains behind you.
On the train idea - Many paces have scenic dinner trains. These romantic conveyances transport you through spectacular scenery and serve a nice dinner. What a perfect place for a proposal! If you're the planning type, you can arrange to have the service staff in on it, and have the ring delivered with one of the dinner courses.
The "Gang's All Here" idea - If she is especially close with her family (and they really like you) and doesn't embarrass easily, arrange to propose at a family gathering such as reunion or family trip. Be traditional and ask her father beforehand. When the family is close by, make an announcement, gather everyone around, and drop to one knee. Pull out the ring and hand it to her as you ask.
The writer's idea - Write her a special poem or a story. Have it end with one of the main characters (her) getting asked for her hand in marriage by the other main character (you). Obviously you have to have a modicum of writing skill for this approach to work.
The "Box of Chocolates" idea - Life really could be a box of chocolates, Forrest! Wrap the engagement ring in plastic, then place it back in the ring box. Dip the box in chocolate, then place the chocolate covered box in with a box of chocolates. Unless you go for a pretty unusual box of chocolates, the dipped ring box will be the biggest one in there. Typically, curiosity will get the better of her, and she'll grab that one first. When she opens it you'll be ready with your proposal. If she doesn't grab the ring box in the first few she chooses, you may have to help things along at some point.
These are just a few proposal ideas that can help you find that perfect proposal that is worthy of your love for her. One recent survey found that almost 80% of women were not satisfied with their proposals. You shouldn't be one of the guys that helped make up that 80%, should you?
by Steve Faber
The romantic dinner proposal idea - This is a classic, but it's not for nothing that it is so popular. If you really want it to be a smashing success, you'll have to spice it up a bit though. There are a few things you can add to any situation that will make it more romantic, and your marriage proposal is definitely one time where you want as much romance as you can get. Just about all women love romance, and this is surely the time to give it to them.
Some great things to incorporate into your dinner are a spectacular sunset, and ocean view, a crackling fire, and twinkling stars overhead.
The top of the mountain idea - Proposing to your girlfriend out in the vastness of a major mountain range is a great idea if she's into the outdoors and outdoor activity. Go to one of the major ski areas, preferably in the Rocky Mountains, the Sierra's, Alps, or one of the other ski areas with real mountains. At the top of many of these areas you have an unmatched view, with the mountain range peaks stretching before you. Drop to one knee in the snow and ask her, with the spectacle of the mountains behind you.
On the train idea - Many paces have scenic dinner trains. These romantic conveyances transport you through spectacular scenery and serve a nice dinner. What a perfect place for a proposal! If you're the planning type, you can arrange to have the service staff in on it, and have the ring delivered with one of the dinner courses.
The "Gang's All Here" idea - If she is especially close with her family (and they really like you) and doesn't embarrass easily, arrange to propose at a family gathering such as reunion or family trip. Be traditional and ask her father beforehand. When the family is close by, make an announcement, gather everyone around, and drop to one knee. Pull out the ring and hand it to her as you ask.
The writer's idea - Write her a special poem or a story. Have it end with one of the main characters (her) getting asked for her hand in marriage by the other main character (you). Obviously you have to have a modicum of writing skill for this approach to work.
The "Box of Chocolates" idea - Life really could be a box of chocolates, Forrest! Wrap the engagement ring in plastic, then place it back in the ring box. Dip the box in chocolate, then place the chocolate covered box in with a box of chocolates. Unless you go for a pretty unusual box of chocolates, the dipped ring box will be the biggest one in there. Typically, curiosity will get the better of her, and she'll grab that one first. When she opens it you'll be ready with your proposal. If she doesn't grab the ring box in the first few she chooses, you may have to help things along at some point.
These are just a few proposal ideas that can help you find that perfect proposal that is worthy of your love for her. One recent survey found that almost 80% of women were not satisfied with their proposals. You shouldn't be one of the guys that helped make up that 80%, should you?
by Steve Faber
Getting Married Sign-Is He Ready To Pop The Big Question?
Getting married is such a big step to take for any man --- it's like letting go of their bachelor days, the girls, the booze, the late nights --- and finally settle down with the woman of his dreams. Of course, it's not something you just figure out out of the blue. It's a very special day and he's probably in love to the bones. Now, you may be anticipating each moment when he'll pop the question but maybe you need to pay more attention to his body language --- is he showing getting married signs at last?
If you have no clue, below are a few tips to find out if he's ready to pop the big question:
Future plans.: talks a lot about the future --- possibly a new career, where to settle down, maybe a business to put up. A man who's ready to get married (and have thought of it long and hard) is so much looking forward for the future that he tells you all about it. And there's a big chance you're included in it as well.
Having kids.You may know this already --- typical men are just scared with the mention of kids. Being a daddy is not a joke and the responsibility that goes with it is totally big and sturdy. Mention about it once or twice and observe his reactions. If he's smiling and may seem lost in thought while talking about how many kids he wants, that's a good sign.
No more night-outs. He's cut off spending so much time with his friends drinking and smoking and the late night-outs are now so rare. By this time, he might have conditioned himself to be a little grounded --- and focus more on the bigger things to come. Like, marriage.
Keeping in touch.He constantly communicates with you and will make jokes about getting married and having kids. Don't shrug it off --- they mean more than that. Chances are, he's trying to weigh the possibility of you saying no --- and that would crush him. So sound happy and excited too when he is.
A happier better man. His temper has calmed down, he's cut on his vises and he never slacks off for the hell of it. He may be more focused to his career or job and seemed to be a little concerned with money matters --- take it as a big sign he's ready to say "I do" with you! A man who's ready is happier and better than he ever was before.
by Steffi Hall
If you have no clue, below are a few tips to find out if he's ready to pop the big question:
Future plans.: talks a lot about the future --- possibly a new career, where to settle down, maybe a business to put up. A man who's ready to get married (and have thought of it long and hard) is so much looking forward for the future that he tells you all about it. And there's a big chance you're included in it as well.
Having kids.You may know this already --- typical men are just scared with the mention of kids. Being a daddy is not a joke and the responsibility that goes with it is totally big and sturdy. Mention about it once or twice and observe his reactions. If he's smiling and may seem lost in thought while talking about how many kids he wants, that's a good sign.
No more night-outs. He's cut off spending so much time with his friends drinking and smoking and the late night-outs are now so rare. By this time, he might have conditioned himself to be a little grounded --- and focus more on the bigger things to come. Like, marriage.
Keeping in touch.He constantly communicates with you and will make jokes about getting married and having kids. Don't shrug it off --- they mean more than that. Chances are, he's trying to weigh the possibility of you saying no --- and that would crush him. So sound happy and excited too when he is.
A happier better man. His temper has calmed down, he's cut on his vises and he never slacks off for the hell of it. He may be more focused to his career or job and seemed to be a little concerned with money matters --- take it as a big sign he's ready to say "I do" with you! A man who's ready is happier and better than he ever was before.
by Steffi Hall
How To Know If You Are Marrying The Right Person
So, it finally happened. They finally popped the question. Now all there is left is for you to decide - is this really the person I want to spend the absolute rest of my life with? Until death do us part? After all, with marriages failing at a rate that surpasses the fifty percent mark, you need to be sure that your decision is the right one. It's probably one of the most critical choices you will ever make.
So, how do you make that choice? How do you make a life determination so important that it will color every moment of the rest of your life?
Well, there are two schools of thought when it comes to making big life path choices. One is the concept of using logic to arrive at the choice - making a list of pros and cons, weighing the benefits and the risks, and then coming to decision that makes the most practical sense.
The other way of thinking about choosing which path to go down at life's forks in the road, is that you need to follow your heart. This philosophy says that our gut instincts will always lead us down the path that our subconscious knows is right for us.
With coming to as momentous a conclusion as whether or not you are marrying the right person, however, there is really only one factor to take into consideration. Can you picture the rest of your life without that person? When you think about losing them, does it impair your very ability to breathe correctly?
If the thought of not spending the rest of your life entwined with your betrothed is not as foreign to you as the thought of spending the rest of your life without one of your limbs or vital organs, then it's probably a good idea to revisit the idea of marrying that person.
Melanie Young
So, how do you make that choice? How do you make a life determination so important that it will color every moment of the rest of your life?
Well, there are two schools of thought when it comes to making big life path choices. One is the concept of using logic to arrive at the choice - making a list of pros and cons, weighing the benefits and the risks, and then coming to decision that makes the most practical sense.
The other way of thinking about choosing which path to go down at life's forks in the road, is that you need to follow your heart. This philosophy says that our gut instincts will always lead us down the path that our subconscious knows is right for us.
With coming to as momentous a conclusion as whether or not you are marrying the right person, however, there is really only one factor to take into consideration. Can you picture the rest of your life without that person? When you think about losing them, does it impair your very ability to breathe correctly?
If the thought of not spending the rest of your life entwined with your betrothed is not as foreign to you as the thought of spending the rest of your life without one of your limbs or vital organs, then it's probably a good idea to revisit the idea of marrying that person.
Melanie Young
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
