LOVE WORLD

Tendering your Relationship Helps it to Florish

2009-11-18T12:21:00.000-08:00

Relationships are much like gardens. If you want either of them to flourish, you must take action.

Pick a Fertile Plot
It matters where you plant. Seeds struggle to germinate and survive in rocky soil or in areas where there is not enough sunlight. So it is with relationships (dating, marriage, friendships, parent/child, sibling, etc.). If there is constant conflict or too many stressful times, or if there is not enough shared fun, it will be hard, if not impossible, to grow a connection between two people.

Pick relationship "plots" where you can build on the ground of commonality. Do you like being with the other person? Are there things you like to do together? What do you have in common? Differences might attract, but they don't sustain a relationship. Instead, there needs to be an underlying friendship and a willingness for two people to partner together for common purposes.

Prepare the Soil
Once the plot has been chosen, there is work to be done. The ground must be prepared to host the seeds. Communication is the best tool available for preparing the soil of any long-lasting relationship. Be yourself. Share your thoughts, feelings, goals, and ideas. Don't assume things or expect the other person to read your mind. Open up and let him get to know you and your interests.

A wise person once said, "If you want to be understood, seek first to understand." Listening is vital to healthy communication. Listening is not passive; it is very active and requires attention to be good at it. Make direct eye contact. Don't formulate mental responses while the other person is talking. Be willing to listen with both ears, an open mind, and a closed mouth.

Plant with Enthusiasm
Successful gardeners don't simply go into the backyard, toss a handful of seeds on the ground, and then walk away and hope for the best. Instead they make a commitment to the garden. Yes, gardening can be enjoyable and relaxing, but it also can be hard work. To think otherwise is to be naive!
Likewise, relationships require enthusiastic commitment if they are to flourish and last. They need an investment of both time and energy in order to produce results. Connecting with another person demands that you commit yourself to that person come rain or shine, in both good and bad times. Neglecting the garden or your relationships is simply not an option if you expect them to grow and bloom.

Deal with Weeds and Pests
The garden begins to grow and it's starting to look great. But what is this? Weeds are popping up between the rows of vegetables, crowding out the plants. Aphids, beetles, and grubs are gnawing on the leaves and roots, and rabbits are eating off the flower heads. No faithful gardener would ever stand for this!
Likewise, you must deal with the pests and weeds in relationships. Conflict is inevitable in any relationships, even healthy ones. Avoiding conflict is not the answer. Ignoring problems does not make them go away. The silent treatment will cause a relationship to die on the vine, as will damaging the other person with hurtful words, accusations, and violence. You must talk it through and work it out peacefully and completely. Conflicts must be resolved for relationships to move forward.
Sometimes, it is necessary to call in a "master gardener." There is no shame in seeking outside objective help--like with a relationship therapist--to resolve conflict and learn how to get back to growing an abundant relationship.

Feed and Water
What you feed will grow; what you starve will die. This simple principle applies to gardening as well as to relationships. You can produce a hearty relationship crop by watering and feeding it with trust, respect, acceptance, and forgiveness. When these are missing in any relationship, the crop will fail. When they are present, the harvest will be plentiful.

Vickie Hull,

Putting the magic back into your Relationship

2009-11-18T12:17:00.000-08:00

Putting magic back into your relationship, especially after starting a family, is difficult. Marriage alone is a lot of work, and when children are added to the mix, there is additional stress. Before the children, you could prioritize and make decisions quickly and easily, based solely on your schedule and needs. Making decisions that affect the family are more complicated. Each day seems to run in the same cycle leaving you exhausted as you tumble into bed with your equally exhausted partner. Every moment of every day is assigned a task and you feel like you are just along for the ride.

The few minutes a day you see you partner are filled with feeding the family or getting the children ready for bed. If you have started to think about the "good 'ol days", when you had meaningful conversations and time to focus on each other, you are ready to take action. Putting magic back into your relationship does not need to include overhauling your schedule to make room for date night. The goal is to show your partner that you have not forgotten about them, and that you love them. This can start with small things you can do each day.

In the morning before leaving home, ask about your partners plan for the day. Is there something interesting or unusual occurring? This will take only a few moments and your partner will appreciate the interest. In the evening, ask about their day. Did it go as expected, or were there complications? Pay attention to the answers and be supportive. Chances are that your partner will reciprocate by asking about your day. This small act of reconnecting with one another is the first step to putting magic back into your relationship. At first, these steps will require effort, but it will get easier.

Taking a few minutes out of each day to focus on each other is another step in prioritizing your relationship. Show your affection by giving them a heart-felt kiss. Hold hands or cuddle when watching television. The physical contact can be soothing and stimulating at the same time. Putting magic back into your relationship can start by simply concentrating on the person you fell in love with. Strong, happy relationships do not just "happen". They require attention and work. Communicate as a couple, rather than as parents. This can bring back a dimension to your relationship that you have missed.

Enjoying Single Life Today

2009-11-08T23:32:00.000-08:00

As I woke up this morning I was full of such overwhelming joy. My reason simply was because I was alive. Only a week ago a friend had died under tragic circumstances. When people close to you die you begin to value life more. You also begin to review and reflect upon your own life, asking yourself questions like 'if I should die today what would people be saying about me?'
Too often we are focused on what we have not got what we want now or what we are yet to receive. So much so we fail to take stock of all we currently have in our lives. If we could just do this and have a heart full of gratitude for all the things God has done in our lives, any sadness we may feel can only turn into joy. After all our lives are in God's hands and as our heavenly father he only wants the best for us.

My friend who died lived life to the full despite having to go through a serious illness any other challenges. She never complained. She never allowed it to stop her from making the most out of life or being a blessing. She made every minute of her life count. She is now gone but has left a tangible mark on this earth. She set up a foundation before she died and her place of work has dedicated a suite after her. What an amazing life she lived.

I tell you this story just to make you stop for a moment to value the life you have. Irrespective of what your outward condition may be because of Christ that dwells within you, you can overcome. You do not need to allow that circumstance to control you. The word of God tells us we have dominion (Genesis 1:26).

If we therefore apply this to Singleness, it follows dominion can be achieved in this area. There is a song that says count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done Count your blessing name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord has done. Why do you not take time now and do a little exercise of recounting every blessing you have. You will be amazed about how blessed you really. And secondly how we take so many things for granted e.g. in my case, my health!

I hope I have given you food for thought. I would like you to take this a step further and to think about all the opportunities you have as a single. Opportunities that some married people are envious of!

1. PERSONAL FREEDOM - THE ABILITY TO "COME" AND "GO" FREELY WITHOUT HAVING TO ACCOUNT TO ANOTHER PERSON.
The freedom to do what you want, when you want! This is one of the most important gifts a single person has at their disposal; yet it is so often abused. You tend to realise the value of the freedom you have only when it is taken away from you or when you relinquish it. Marriage does not mean you lack freedom. It just means you are accountable to your spouse. Therefore, it is a valuable commodity for a single person. There is power and potential because you do not have to account to anyone unless you choose to.

2. TIME AND SPACE TO ESTABLISH WHO THEY ARE, DISCOVERING THEIR "RAISON DE VIVRE" I.E. WHAT DRIVES THEIR LIFE.
Positive and healthy relationships are based on two people coming together who are complete in themselves. Therefore, in order to have a fulfilling relationship you would need to know your reason and purpose for living. There is power in such knowledge as it helps you to keep focus and not get discouraged from the inevitable trials of life.

3. THE POTENTIAL FOR SPIRITUAL GROWTH, LEARNING, TRAINING AND DEVELOPMENT
Singles have all the time to discover their identity, values, beliefs and philosophy to life. They are also able to study the word and single-mindedly pursue goals for themselves.

4. IT IS THE SEASON IN WHICH TO ESTABLISH THEIR LIFE MAP. WHERE THEY WANT TO GO AND WHAT THEY WANT TO BE
As individuals, we must find the right direction and means in achieving goals. It is important that as a single person, you have a vision and seek fulfilling means in reaching your goals.

5. THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAXIMIZE ONE'S SELF WORTH
Singles most often have the ability to give their all to their chosen aspirations and in so doing live to their full potential in life.

6. FREEDOM TO TRAVEL, DISCOVER CULTURES AND WAYS OF DOING THINGS
Singles are free to pursue interests such as culture, which widens global awareness and improves outlook on world issues.

7. THE UNRESTRICTED ABILITY TO BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS
As a single person, you can maximise your capability of reaching out to people and not take into account certain commitments and responsibilities which married people do.

8. THE GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO NETWORK AND DEVELOP BUSINESS AND SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
Single people have the opportunity and freedom to form a wide range of relationships as a result of connecting and meeting like-minded people.

9. THE CAPABILITY OF LIVING A FOCUSED LIFE - THE POWER TO FOCUS ON THEIR VISION, CAREER, BUSINESS AND DREAMS
When there are no distractions, you can single-mindedly focus on your career, vision and dreams. You have nobody you need to convince except yourself when you embark upon this.

10. FLEXIBILITY IN TERMS OF CAREER MOVEMENT - A SINGLE PERSON CAN PUT THEIR CAREER DEVELOPMENT INTO OVERDRIVE
Singles have the flexibility to explore opportunities of travelling in order to attain career goals, where necessary. Also to be single-minded in the pursuit of their career is an added bonus. The sky is the limit because there are fewer commitments.

The list is by no means exhaustive as there are other countless ways a single person can enjoy the power and potential of their single status. However, what this does is to give a snapshot of ways in which a single person can enjoy their singleness by acknowledging the advantageous position they are in because they are not married. The sky is the limit for every single person who understands that with God in their lives, they can do all things and in their single status, they have the freedom of choice to aim for the best.

Ade D&apos, Almeida

Signs That He or She is Just not inot you

2009-11-08T23:24:00.000-08:00

The movie "He's Just Not That Into You" should be viewed by anyone who has struggled in the dating world.

It gives you a clear cut view into the excuses we all make for ourselves and each other that get in the way of getting some booty and/or finding our true love.

The gist of the movie is that from their earliest crushes, girls are programmed to believe that if a guy is a jerk to you it means he likes you.

The movie starts out with a little girl in the sandbox googly eyed at a little boy who comes over, pushes her down and tells her she smells like poop.

When the little girl cries and tells her mother, the mother smiles big and says, oh honey, that means he likes you!

And that's where the problem begins.
The hero in the movie is Alex, a dating savvy bartender who knows how to read every single either gender ever sends out and stays professionally detached from any hint of a real relationship, instead being a player. But he gives fantastic advice to Gigi, a bumbler in the realm of love and dating.

" So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions," Alex tells Gigi.
Throughout the movie, there are signs of how to tell a guy (or girl for that matter) is just not into you, which frankly, my dears, should be obvious without you reading this article.
* He doesn't call.
If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.

You can make excuses all day long about how maybe he didn't call because he was in a car crash and is hospitalized or a sudden family death took him out of town or that he lost your number, but let's face it, if he didn't call you, he doesn't want to call you.

As Alex tells Gigi, if a guy wants to get ahold of you, he will find a way.

For instance, Alex says, he once called 52 Sherry Smiths (or whatever name he used) before he found the one he was looking for.
* He gives you his card and/or number.

Even if he takes your number, as well, this is a big red flag.

"He's not interested," is the verdict from our dating savvy bartender. "If a guy wants to see you, believe me, he will see you."

Here are some other thoughts shared in this movie about whether someone is into you or not. In this case signs of a woman NOT being into you.

If she's not sleeping with you after a month or two months -- she doesn't like you.

If she calls you cuddly or dependable -- she doesn't like you.

If she pops a zit in front of you -- she doesn't like you.

If she takes a dump in front of you -- she doesn't like you.

It's not rocket science, but these are all good rules of thumb.

As Alex says in the movie, If a girl likes me great, if not, there's a whole lot more out there like her, probably with smaller pores and implants.

Bill Preston

How to give a Woman a mind blowing Clitoral Orgasm every time

2009-10-25T13:14:00.000-07:00

Its well known that the easiest way to give a woman an orgasm is through direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. Learning how to stimulate the clitoris will make it much easier for you to give a woman sexual satisfaction and intense orgasmic pleasure.

The clitoris is a small bean shaped mass of flesh located by the vaginal entrance at the top of the labia minora. Its often covered by a clitoral hood to give it protection throughout the day because its very sensitive due to the high concentration of nerve endings that it contains. The clitoris extends all the way to the bottom of the pubic bone and only a small part is actually visible.

Its important to point out that the clitoris can't be sufficiently stimulated by the penis alone which is one of the reasons why so many women fail to reach orgasm. This means that traditional intercourse usually needs to be accompanied with manual clitoral stimulation using your fingers if you want to give her the kind of orgasmic pleasure that she craves.

Some couples prefer to bring each other to orgasm separately which can be very effective but its usually not the most satisfactory approach. A much better option would be to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse as this can be a great way for couples to reach orgasm at the same time.

Its important to experiment because not all women like the same type of stimulation. Some women enjoy direct stimulation but others may find it slightly uncomfortable and prefer to have the area around the clitoris stimulated instead. Women who have experimented with masturbation in the past will usually know what type of stimulation they prefer so you just have to ask.

When a woman becomes aroused during foreplay, the clitoris fills up with blood and becomes erect in a similar way to the penis. After repeated stimulation, it will become fully engorged which further heightens its sensitivity until a point is reached when all of the tension in the area must be released in the form of an orgasm. Its the build up of sexual tension and arousal that will ensure that you have the best chance of bringing her to orgasm.

Clitoral orgasms can be achieved in many different ways so its important to find out exactly what your partner likes and dislikes which is why communication is essential. Since the area around the clitoris is highly sensitive, experimenting with these types of orgasms can help to spice up your sex life and make you more enthusiastic about having intercourse on a regular basis.

Andy Edmonds

Three Tricks to stop Premature ejaculation

2009-10-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

The harmful effects of ejaculating prematurely go far beyond problems in the bedroom. Beyond being embarrassing, it can cause problems all around the relationship. And for all this, many men are looking for a solution, so here are three tricks to stop premature ejaculation.

First, for one of the more fun tricks to stop premature ejaculation, I absolutely recommend that you try experimenting with different sexual positions. It's very possible that you'll find one is less sensitive for you but is just as pleasurable for your partner. This way you can resort to this position anytime you need to, and meanwhile this also encourages experimentation the bedroom which is a great way to get your sexual relationship back on track.

Another one of these tricks to stop premature ejaculation involves nutrition. There are changes to be made in your diet which can affect your hormone level. Hormones play arguably the largest role in causing a man to ejaculate prematurely, so focusing on a more vegetarian based diet can have a substantial effect on your ability to control your orgasm.

The last of these tricks to stop premature ejaculation entails doing simple exercises which you can do to retrain your body to last longer when engaging in sexual intercourse. Many men pick up and develop bad masturbatory habits earlier on in their lives and for this your body needs to be retrained by doing some of the many exercises designed to give you greater control over your orgasm and benefit your sexual health in other ways, as well.

by Peter Doyers

Danger - These 10 Mistakes can kill your relationhip

2009-10-21T13:14:00.000-07:00

No relationship is perfect. However, there are several serious pitfalls that will end a relationship very quickly if you don't try to avoid them.

The 10 items below are some of the most common and serious mistakes than can keep you from having the lasting relationship you want.

1. Cheating.
Being unfaithful is the number one way to end a relationship. If you want to see someone else, be responsible enough to end your relationship first. Anything else is just being dishonest and cowardly.
2. Hanging on to Your Ex.
While it's very important to remember your past mistakes, it's also important to move on. If you're still hung up on your ex, perhaps it's too early to start a new relationship. Even when you think you have no feelings left, if you're stuck in a pattern of bringing up your ex all the time when you talk with your new partner, you should do some serious thinking about where you've been and where you're heading. Your current partner deserves your full attention. It's only fair.

3. Rushing Things.
Relationships develop at their own pace. Some move quickly, others move slowly and steadily. If you push your partner too much, you risk pushing them away. Two prime examples of this are the timing of physical intimacy and saying "I love you." Both of these things are best when they happen naturally. You'll both know when the time is right and the relationship won't be strained.
4. Being Ruled by Jealousy.
Often feelings of intense jealousy are caused by past relationships. If your partner is open and honest, you shouldn't feel threatened by incidental contact with someone else. Conversation and interaction is normal. Trust is also important. If you become jealous with your partner without real cause, it can seriously harm your relationship.

5. Focusing too Much on the Future.
When relationships are new, it's not the time to dwell too much on the future. Live for the day. The flush of excitement of a new relationship only happens once. Instead of worrying about what's coming next, enjoy what you have now. Often when one partner is too concerned about the future, the other partner is scared away thinking that they are too serious. Again, live for the moment and enjoy where you are.

6. Failure to Balance Friendships With the Relationship.
It's important for each of you to have friends. People often take things very personally when someone talks badly about a friend. Because of these two things, it's critical to allow your partner time with and for their friends while avoiding talking badly about them. No one is perfect - most of our friends have quirks. Just remember that your friends can be a little strange, too. Finally, don't feel threatened when your partner wants to do something with their friends.

7. Failure to Communicate.
Open honest communication is one of the most important things in a healthy relationship. When you keep secrets or even feel too embarrassed to discuss your thoughts, it can build walls between you and your partner. Yes, there is a risk that your feelings or thoughts might end up causing problems in the relationship. However, if there's a break-up because you're not compatible, that's OK. In fact it's far better to find that out than to pretend you're something you're not.

8. Forcing your Partner to Change.
This is the flip-side of #7. If you can't accept who your partner is, you probably should find someone else. When you force your partner to change, there is often resentment and the changes rarely last. Even when a partner has a real problem, we can't "fix" them. We can encourage, but if they don't commit to the change on their own, it just won't happen.

9. Blaming Your Partner.
A relationship takes two people. So do relationship problems. It can be very difficult and often painful to admit our part in relationship problems, but an honest look at our actions is critical. If you expect your partner to face the blame for a problem all alone, don't be surprised when they don't want to do anything else with your either.

10. Staying After the Feeling is Gone.
If you're just going through the motions in a relationship, your partner knows it. If the relationship is worth saving, you both need to talk and find a way to reignite the spark If not, you should be honest enough to admit that the relationship is over. Often we're stuck in these ruts because the uncomfortable "known" seems better than the scary "unknown." In reality, a flat relationship will not last, and will often lead to serious conflict.

by Doug

5 Easy ways to enhance your relationship

2009-10-21T12:48:00.000-07:00

The quality of your relationship is gauged by how you talk to each other. Loving each other guarantees nothing. But learning how to talk with each other and putting it into practice, ensures your relationship will work.

As long as you and your spouse talk to each other, you can resolve anything.
By adding an intimate tone to your interaction, you re-vitalize and breathe life back into a relationship, even a faltering one.

What is intimate conversation? It occurs when you speak in earnest, about any topic. Almost hypnotic in the hold it exerts on you both, you tune in to each other completely.
Whether talking about rugby or the economy, politics or your family, talk with everything you have. Look at each other, listen to each other, hear each other. Then respond. This is intimate conversation.
Think back to last weekend. You had two days and three nights in which you had ample opportunity for communicating. What you spoke about is less important than how intensely you talked about it. Did you communicate in grunts, groans, half-sentences and incomplete statements? Or was there an earnestness about your talking?

With that as your basis, here are five guidelines guaranteed to make your relationship flourish:

1. Use "I" instead of "you". Let us look at two examples: "Why do you always add so much salt when you cook?" and "I would prefer less salt in the soup."
The first is a "you" statement. It places the burden on the other person, has an accusatory tone, will probably result in her defensively lashing out, and could well be the beginning of an unpleasant spat.
With the "I" message, you take responsibility for the idea, simply stating your personal preference.
Try eliminate all "you" statements and express your opinions as your own. Instead of saying, "You cannot help but like her," say "I like her." Instead of saying, "You would be foolish to do that," say "I would feel foolish doing that."
When you hear a "you" coming out your mouth, stop it. Only when you accept total responsibility for what you feel and say, will the other person be able to respond, otherwise how does she know what you really want.

2. Respond to what your spouse said. If you come home one afternoon and your husband asked, "Did you pick up the dry cleaning?" And you reply, "What? Do I have to do everything around here? How about you helping out for a change?" And before you know it, his simple question escalates into a verbal bloodletting.
The problem is not that you voiced your pent-up frustration; the problem is how you did it.
A better way would have been to complete the transaction by answering his original question, "No, I forgot to pick up the dry cleaning." Then you could have raised the issue of how you feel you do most of the work in your relationship. This needs to be addressed, but when you go off on a tangent without answering the original question, you catch him unaware.

3. Give your partner freedom of speech. When you judge and evaluate everything he says, he will clam up. Called a 'take-away', it takes away the legitimacy and validity of the other person's feelings.
For example, "How can you believe something like that?!" "Why would you do something like that?!" "I cannot believe you said that!"
The take-away is a lethal mixture of cynicism and incredulity, with no sure antidote. When it happens repeatedly, he may never revive his spirit.
Eliminate take-aways because they shut him up, make him feel foolish, and once he has been put down he is unlikely to speak up again soon.

4. Set aside regular talking time just for the two of you, despite your busy lives, because nothing is more important than frequent communication sessions.
Talk about how you are doing as a couple and how well your individual needs are being satisfied. Talk about everything remotely relevant to your relationship. If you feel something, get it out in the open, and the two of you can deal with it.

5. Do not label your partner or yourself. Labels make him easier to work with but we all change constantly. Let him be who he is, savor the stimulating effect of change, and enjoy your relationship with each other.

by Sharon Dell

How to Understand Body Language Secrets

2009-10-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

Do you want to know about the secret of body language? In fact, your body and face delivers messages to other people about situation of your mood and your character. Your body language could be scaring other people away. Learn why, and find out what you can do about it.
Never think that people cannot understand this secret. Even when you do not say a word, other people can still learn a lot about what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling.

The experts of body language state that only about 7% of our communication is delivered through the words we speak and the rest of our communication is delivered through our tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions.

Just remember that when you were baby, people around you could understand what you want by learning your mimic baby face. They are looking at your gestures, and listening to your little cries, trying to interpret what kind of mood you were and you wanted to say.

Have you ever seen someone stands with his arms across his chest? What do you interpret this kind of gesture? This is a signal that he does not want anyone to approach him? People will be afraid to approach this guy if they stand in this kind of position.

If you stand uncomfortably with your chest slumped forward and your shoulders sagging, then you are afraid of seeing other eyes of people. This will make other people think that you are very depressed or completely inferior. They could fear to talk with you because they may think that it would be an uncomfortable experience.

If you stand awkwardly, people will think that you are not confident. It seems that you are trying to disappear among people. Have you ever seen someone is holding his breath or breathing in a shallow? This gesture is a sign of anxiety. There is some body language secret that you can learn. Just for example giving too much smile does not mean that someone is happy but this could mean that he is nervous and forced.

Neil Q Tran

The Right Time to send a Note

2009-10-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

Do you ever say to yourself, I will get to writing that thank you in a day or so...then we put it off for another day, another week, another month and before you know it a year has past and we never got to sit down and jot down those few words on a note or piece of paper "thank you".

I know we are busy and there is so much going on in our life and before you know it we are turning on the computer and writing an email to someone or sending an electronic card to say thank you. Did that gift or favor come through the computer to you or did that person go out of their way to do something or shop for a gift for you. What does it take to put a few moments aside and write a thank you note. It is such a warm gesture on your part and shows the person who made the effort to do you that favor or buy you that gift that you really care and want them to know it.

I have been in that position myself where I want to hit the keys and just write thank you. It makes life so simple and convenient. I feel guilty when I do something like that, because I feel I did not put any effort into showing my appreciation and I know that writing a thank you note in a timely manner is greatly appreciated.

The right time is anytime you think of it, but the main thing is that you do it. Show your appreciation by dropping a line in the mail.
"Nothing Leaves An Impression Like A Lasting One"

Jacquline Coote

5 Tips Your Boyfriend is Cheating on You

2009-09-24T15:30:00.000-07:00

Is your boyfriend cheating on you? He might be--look for these five tell-tale signs if you suspect he's not being faithful to you.

1) Being unavailable and showing inconsistency when he is supposed to meet you. Is he ignoring you by not returning your calls, or not making any efforts to show up when you've already agreed to meet? If so, he may be seeing someone else. As soon as you notice any changes in his pattern of contacting you, be suspicious.

2) He's changed his appearance. Has your boyfriend gone from being a slob to a preppy overnight? Has he ditched his glasses for contact lenses or had LASIK surgery recently. Or maybe he's lost a lot of weight, or become a gym rat after being a couch potato for years? Any sudden changes like these should be a warning bell that he is either seeing someone else, or thinking about it. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, he might become a fashion plate after years of not caring about his appearance.

3) He's cheated on you in the past. Unfortunately, even though many swear upon their very lives that they would never cheat on you again, the fact that they once cheated makes it more likely that they will cheat again in the future.

4) He suddenly starts getting secretive. If he previously took all his phone calls in your presence, then suddenly starts leaving the room when he gets a call, you should wonder why he needs so much privacy all of a sudden. If your boyfriend is cheating on you, changes in behavior like this one are a big tip off.

5) He begins spending a lot of money, when he's been a tightwad. Has he bought a new sports car after being happy with a beat-up pickup truck for years? Is is buying Aramis when Old Spice has been plenty good enough in the past? Is he suddenly packing to go on business trips when he is a customer-service agent in a call center? Any changes in spending or travel habits should raise the alarm.

Is your boyfriend really cheating on you? Perhaps, perhaps not. Being armed with this list will help you be prepared to face this possibility. Even cheating doesn't mean your relationship is over if you know the steps to take to win back your man.

Jen Thomas

Dealing With Insecure Relationship

2009-09-24T14:51:00.000-07:00

If one or both partners in a relationship are insecure, it can be a really unhealthy, and unstable relationship. It is normal to be insecure about certain things in your life, but an over-abundance of insecurities within a relationship can lead to its break up. This is why it is so important to deal with insecure relationships before they get out of control.

When you start dealing with insecure relationships, you should always start with yourself. Make a list of things you are insecure about. Do you feel paranoid that your lover is cheating on you, even though you have been given no reason to believe this is true? This is an insecurity that needs to be dealt with fast.

But, how do you deal with such a problem? The best way is to start learning how to love yourself. There are a variety of ways to do this but the most effective is with the use of a psychologist. A psychologist or counsellor can provide you with the tools you need to push your insecurities aside and learn to live without them.

If your partner has insecurities as well, you may want to consider relationship counselling. This can be a huge benefit for both of you, and a great place where you can simply get all of the issues out in the open, and then go through them one by one. By assessing the issues with your relationship, you can take the appropriate actions to fix it.

Insecure relationships are never healthy, and eventually you will both get to a point where you can just no longer deal with it anymore. You may begin to resent each other and it could become worse if you don't trust each other like you should be. Getting the help you need at this point is the best thing you can do in this situation.

R. Kain

The Importance of Leaving an Abusive Relationship

2009-09-07T04:59:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, even in our modern society, men and women everywhere in the country are the victims of an abusive marriage. The worst part is that many of these victims don't see themselves as such, because they either do not know the signs or they will not admit to themselves that they are being abused. If you suspect that you are in an abusive marriage, you should think about what is at stake by staying in an unhealthy relationship and consider hiring a divorce lawyer.

What Is Abuse?

One of the biggest problems with abuse in this country is that many people do not realize that they are the victims of it. It can be difficult to step back and fairly assess the health of your relationship, especially if you've become used to it over several years. Recognizing abuse is therefore a very important part of being able to overcome it.
Abuse is any action in which one partner attempts to strip power from the other, whether it be physical or emotional.
You may be the victim of abuse if your partner:

Threatens physical violence
Hits you, kicks your, or otherwise inflicts physical violence
Constantly criticizes you over small things
Is jealous of your relationships with friends and family
Insults and embarrasses you deliberately in front of your friends and family
Becomes violent or abusive when drinking or doing drugs
Threatens to hurt the children

Many abusive relationships persist because the abuser engages in a cycle of threats, violence, and apology. Women in particular are often induced to stay in relationships after tearful apologies and promises of love. However, actions speak louder than words, as they say, and merely saying sorry and never correcting the behavior is hardly an apology.

It is also important to consider the well-being of any children in the marriage, as they are also victims of abuse. They are being affected by the abuse, if not physically, then in a long-term emotional and mental sense. Many psychologists assert that children are negatively affected by conflict, not necessarily divorce. If they continue to live in a violent household, they will almost certainly be negatively affected psychologically. These children develop attachment problems and are more likely to engage in abuse themselves later in life.

If you are the victim of an abusive partner, you owe it to yourself and to any children you have to get out of the relationship and on with your life. If you are married, you may want to contact a lawyer as soon as possible and get the divorce proceedings in motion.

by Joseph Devine

Why Are Men Scared Of Commitment?

2009-09-01T05:25:00.000-07:00

It is not uncommon for guys to be scared of commitment and so you ask "why are men scared of commitment?" Commitment seems to be the hardest thing that you can get from a guy. In reality, men are always jittery when it comes to marriage and family. Scared enough that they would want to pack up and go away from you. Settling down for some guys seems to be an elusive thing. Find out some of his reasons below.

1 - He is not free anymore. This is the most common reason when it comes to the question "why are men scared of commitment." Well, to admit the fact when you are committed to a relationship, you will loose a certain freedom for yourself. This means you will always take into account the other person in no matter what you do.

2 - He feels like his privacy is invaded. Men always feel protective of their own privately built space. They usually don't like it when they have to share something they consider as their own. They don't especially have any inkling to like it when they see girl stuffs cluttering their room, their closet and bathroom.

3 - He is immature. When a guy accepts that he is immature that is why he can't commit, acknowledge this and appreciate him because he was able to admit the truth to himself and that it will be a good thing for you both. You will only have problems later on if you force him to commit himself to you.

4 - He experienced traumatic event before. A big impact on a man's ego as well as in his commitment is when he experienced something traumatic like some woman he went serious with and was willing to spend forever with before has coldly broke his heart of something to that effect.

If you ask "why are men scared of commitment," you should also ask yourself the same thing. Men and women alike share common fears when it comes to commitment.

Question - Are You Ready For Marriage?

2009-09-01T05:18:00.000-07:00

Are you really ready for marriage? What exactly does that question mean? Of course we're ready you might say. We love each other and we want to spend the rest of our lives together.

OK, fine you love each and love is very important and it can transcend everything else but people can fall out of love very quickly.

There are other things that go to make a long and happy marriage. And it is important that each of you should ask each other the 5 essential questions below and listen very carefully to each others answers about how you truly FEEL.

#1 Children
Do you want to have children? If so, how do you want to bring them up?

#2 Religion
How strong are your beliefs, if any? How do you feel about church and church going?

3# Money
How do you feel about money? Are you a spender or a saver?

#4 Family
How do you really feel about each others families?

#5 Sex
How important do you feel sex is in a marriage?

There are many more questions you can ask each about subjects like what food do you really like? What's your favorite vacation or hobby or movie star, is your partner dependable and trustworthy.
But asking the 5 questions above are essential, if you wish to live together in harmony for the rest of your lives.
Why, you might question, should knowing each others TRUE FEELINGS about the subjects above be essential to your marriage plans?

The answer is very simple: Children, Religious belief, Money, Family, and Sex are the BIGGEST CAUSES OF DIVORCE in the USA today. Almost 50% of marriages end in divorce these days and the problems that lead to divorce are usually caused by one or more of the subjects listed above . Relationship experts believe that if all couples planning to get married asked each other the five questions above before they tied the knot they could cut the chances of their marriage ending in divorce by half!

So to all you couples planning to get married, question each other carefully on the 5 subjects above BEFORE you make that final commitment to spending the rest of your lives together.

by Dave A Patrick

Great "Can't Miss" Marriage Proposal Ideas

2009-09-01T05:12:00.000-07:00

It's one of the most important and scary time of their lives for most guys; the marriage proposal. Sure, you're excited to ask her to marry you, but at the same time there's that little bit of nagging doubt tucked away in the back of your mind. Not to worry, there are some fantastic ways to propose that will all but guarantee that she says yes.

The romantic dinner proposal idea - This is a classic, but it's not for nothing that it is so popular. If you really want it to be a smashing success, you'll have to spice it up a bit though. There are a few things you can add to any situation that will make it more romantic, and your marriage proposal is definitely one time where you want as much romance as you can get. Just about all women love romance, and this is surely the time to give it to them.

Some great things to incorporate into your dinner are a spectacular sunset, and ocean view, a crackling fire, and twinkling stars overhead.

The top of the mountain idea - Proposing to your girlfriend out in the vastness of a major mountain range is a great idea if she's into the outdoors and outdoor activity. Go to one of the major ski areas, preferably in the Rocky Mountains, the Sierra's, Alps, or one of the other ski areas with real mountains. At the top of many of these areas you have an unmatched view, with the mountain range peaks stretching before you. Drop to one knee in the snow and ask her, with the spectacle of the mountains behind you.

On the train idea - Many paces have scenic dinner trains. These romantic conveyances transport you through spectacular scenery and serve a nice dinner. What a perfect place for a proposal! If you're the planning type, you can arrange to have the service staff in on it, and have the ring delivered with one of the dinner courses.

The "Gang's All Here" idea - If she is especially close with her family (and they really like you) and doesn't embarrass easily, arrange to propose at a family gathering such as reunion or family trip. Be traditional and ask her father beforehand. When the family is close by, make an announcement, gather everyone around, and drop to one knee. Pull out the ring and hand it to her as you ask.

The writer's idea - Write her a special poem or a story. Have it end with one of the main characters (her) getting asked for her hand in marriage by the other main character (you). Obviously you have to have a modicum of writing skill for this approach to work.

The "Box of Chocolates" idea - Life really could be a box of chocolates, Forrest! Wrap the engagement ring in plastic, then place it back in the ring box. Dip the box in chocolate, then place the chocolate covered box in with a box of chocolates. Unless you go for a pretty unusual box of chocolates, the dipped ring box will be the biggest one in there. Typically, curiosity will get the better of her, and she'll grab that one first. When she opens it you'll be ready with your proposal. If she doesn't grab the ring box in the first few she chooses, you may have to help things along at some point.

These are just a few proposal ideas that can help you find that perfect proposal that is worthy of your love for her. One recent survey found that almost 80% of women were not satisfied with their proposals. You shouldn't be one of the guys that helped make up that 80%, should you?

by Steve Faber

Getting Married Sign-Is He Ready To Pop The Big Question?

2009-09-01T05:04:00.000-07:00

Getting married is such a big step to take for any man --- it's like letting go of their bachelor days, the girls, the booze, the late nights --- and finally settle down with the woman of his dreams. Of course, it's not something you just figure out out of the blue. It's a very special day and he's probably in love to the bones. Now, you may be anticipating each moment when he'll pop the question but maybe you need to pay more attention to his body language --- is he showing getting married signs at last?
If you have no clue, below are a few tips to find out if he's ready to pop the big question:

Future plans.: talks a lot about the future --- possibly a new career, where to settle down, maybe a business to put up. A man who's ready to get married (and have thought of it long and hard) is so much looking forward for the future that he tells you all about it. And there's a big chance you're included in it as well.

Having kids.You may know this already --- typical men are just scared with the mention of kids. Being a daddy is not a joke and the responsibility that goes with it is totally big and sturdy. Mention about it once or twice and observe his reactions. If he's smiling and may seem lost in thought while talking about how many kids he wants, that's a good sign.

No more night-outs. He's cut off spending so much time with his friends drinking and smoking and the late night-outs are now so rare. By this time, he might have conditioned himself to be a little grounded --- and focus more on the bigger things to come. Like, marriage.

Keeping in touch.He constantly communicates with you and will make jokes about getting married and having kids. Don't shrug it off --- they mean more than that. Chances are, he's trying to weigh the possibility of you saying no --- and that would crush him. So sound happy and excited too when he is.

A happier better man. His temper has calmed down, he's cut on his vises and he never slacks off for the hell of it. He may be more focused to his career or job and seemed to be a little concerned with money matters --- take it as a big sign he's ready to say "I do" with you! A man who's ready is happier and better than he ever was before.

by Steffi Hall

How To Know If You Are Marrying The Right Person

2009-09-01T04:58:00.000-07:00

So, it finally happened. They finally popped the question. Now all there is left is for you to decide - is this really the person I want to spend the absolute rest of my life with? Until death do us part? After all, with marriages failing at a rate that surpasses the fifty percent mark, you need to be sure that your decision is the right one. It's probably one of the most critical choices you will ever make.

So, how do you make that choice? How do you make a life determination so important that it will color every moment of the rest of your life?

Well, there are two schools of thought when it comes to making big life path choices. One is the concept of using logic to arrive at the choice - making a list of pros and cons, weighing the benefits and the risks, and then coming to decision that makes the most practical sense.

The other way of thinking about choosing which path to go down at life's forks in the road, is that you need to follow your heart. This philosophy says that our gut instincts will always lead us down the path that our subconscious knows is right for us.

With coming to as momentous a conclusion as whether or not you are marrying the right person, however, there is really only one factor to take into consideration. Can you picture the rest of your life without that person? When you think about losing them, does it impair your very ability to breathe correctly?

If the thought of not spending the rest of your life entwined with your betrothed is not as foreign to you as the thought of spending the rest of your life without one of your limbs or vital organs, then it's probably a good idea to revisit the idea of marrying that person.

Melanie Young

Gifts For a 50th Wedding Anniversary

2009-08-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Gifts for the 50th wedding anniversary celebrations are supposed to be gold - one of the most precious metals on the planet. Spending fifty years as husband and wife is no easy task. Many couples barely make it beyond one decade let alone five. Of course, gold gifts can be a little expensive so here are a few ideas that might better fit your budget while still allowing you to keep the theme for this very special, once-in-a-lifetime anniversary.

Jewelry

While you can spend a fortune on gold jewelry if you have the funds, you don't have to. You could do something as simple as having your existing wedding bands polished and maybe engraved. That's a nice gift for the two of you, plus it adds to the sentimental value of the rings. Many jewelry pieces are also fairly affordable even if they are gold: cuff links, earrings, maybe a locket or gold watch. These are all ideas you might want to consider. And remember to shop around. You can often find good deals on jewelry online.

Picture Frames

Many beautiful picture frames come with gold borders, but an empty frame may not seem like much of a gift. Instead, go through your collection of photos, find a good number of them that represent special moments of your family's life, have copies made, and create a collage within the picture frame.
Another idea is to shop around rummage sales and thrift shops in search of a beautiful, old picture frame that has some character to it. Even if the frame itself isn't gold, you can purchase golf leaf at a craft store and create an inexpensive frame that looks amazing.

Keepsake Items

Some of the best gift ideas are ones that could double as keepsakes for your family to treasure, too. Gold anniversary clocks are a lovely tradition and usually can be engraved with a personal message, your names, the date of your wedding, or any other information you want to include. While the clocks you can engrave, you'll find a wide range of other items in gold. Golden goblets, for example, are a nice gift, especially when paired with a bottle of champagne or your favorite wine.

Other Ideas for Gold Gifts

While picture frames can be turned fabulous with some gold leaf, so can chocolate. You can purchase chocolates that have been decorated with edible gold leaf. A couple of these delectable treats are perfect as gifts for 50th wedding anniversary celebrations, plus they can be paired up with other non-gold gift ideas, such as a magical dinner at a great restaurant or a return trip to your honeymoon destination.

You can also turn almost any gift you give into something appropriate for the theme by wrapping it in gold paper or tying a gold ribbon around it. If you think gold would be hard to find, don't worry. Your local craft store is sure to have what you need. Wrap up a CD of songs played at your wedding or that you danced to while you were dating. Purchase tickets to a movie or theater performance your spouse wants to see. Or wrap the ribbon around a bouquet of dark yellow roses - they may not be made of gold but they do look gold.

by Suz Daykin

7 Success Tips For a Wedding Anniversary Party

2009-08-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

When you have a special wedding anniversary coming up you might want to throw a party. Of course you must set out everything well before the time. To give you hints about making your wedding anniversary party a success, you can use the tips below.

1. Invitations:
When you are inviting people to your wedding anniversary party don't leave it too late. People always have other plans so if you want a good turn up make sure your invitations go out at least 2 months before the party. Three months would be even better.

2. Use Mementoes:
A wedding anniversary is all about celebrating the partnership of two people in love. You can make the celebration special by including mementos from your life together. These can be photos, actual physical items like sea shells or your special wedding song. You can use the mementoes to decorate and also include them in the invitations.

3. Anniversary Favors:
For great wedding anniversary favors for your guests you can use a few ideas from wedding favors. You can create your own favors like crafts or make seed packets. You can give little chocolates inside a cute box, or even get little favors made and personalized for each guest.

4. Catering and the Bar:
With the food and the bar you will have to get catering companies in to help if the venue is held in a marquee or at your home. You can choose to have it in a restaurant in which case the food might be cheaper. The bar can be a cash bar if you are in a restaurant or hotel. If you are hosting the party, then you will need to hire in bars and staff. You can keep the costs down by just serving wine and beers. At a sit down affair you can get bottles of champagne for the tables.

5. Music and Dancing:
People love to dance and party, so to have a successful party you should hire in a DJ and sound equipment. They also usually come with lights that are also for hire. You are not looking at a huge cost for this. The music you want might be more like background music. You can still hire a DJ to do this for you, or you can use the restaurant or hotel. Bear in mind that you need to have a PA system for speeches so getting a DJ is probably a good idea anyway.

6. Speeches:
At weddings and wedding anniversary parties you will find that people tend to get carried away with the speeches. While speeches are fun and allow you to say thanks to everyone, you must make sure that they are short and simple. For a good timing for speeches, keep them to 2 minutes.

7. Themes:
There are many themes that you can use for your wedding anniversary party. You can go with the year you were married. This means you could have a 50's, 60's, 70's or 80's theme. You can choose colors for the theme, or you can also pick something that is special to you both. This can be a place like the sea or more specific as in a country you like to visit.

Your wedding anniversary is a special occasion that you should plan with care.

by Lise Rina

Anniversary Ideas-Top Seven ways to say i love you

2009-08-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

An anniversary can be a yearly commemoration of any significant life event. Naturally, the point of celebrating an anniversary is to show your partner that they are special to you. Unfortunately there are too many hackneyed ways to celebrate an anniversary to enumerate. If romantic ideas don't come easily to you, check out these seven fresh ideas of ways to show your love:

1. Take a surprise detour.
Pretend like you and your partner are going out to dinner for your anniversary. Then take a detour to the airport. Surprise! You've purchased two tickets to Las Vegas or to some location that has significance for you as a couple. Go just for the evening - you can always buy toothbrushes and pajamas when you get there.

2. Cater a dinner in an unusual outdoor setting.
One evening I drove through a beautiful neighborhood with a quaint town square. In the middle of the square was a couple sitting at a white linen-covered table with candles and gourmet food being served by a waiter. It looked so peaceful and romantic.

3. Have boudoir photos taken.
If you are a man, you can purchase a gift certificate to have a reputable female photographer take boudoir photos of your wife or girlfriend in lingerie. If you are a woman, surprise your man with your boudoir photos. If you're a bit shy, it's best to put the photos in a photo album instead of a picture frame.

4. Make a photo scrapbook.
Your love scrapbook can include ticket stubs, memorable photos, poems (ones you find on the Internet about love or original poems you write), etc. Let your creative juices flow!

5. Do the stranger pickup.
Instead of going directly to dinner for your anniversary, ask your spouse to dress up and meet you at a bar. Or, if possible, get together at the place where you first met. The twist is to pretend to be strangers. Let the conversation begin. It can be exciting to see each other as strangers once again and remember why you fell for each other in the first place.

6. Give a no-reciprocation massage.
Don't be in a hurry. A real massage, whether light touch or an actual Swedish massage with oil, should take at least an hour to an hour and a half. After the massage, draw your partner a bubble bath, surround the tub with candles, and encourage him or her to fully relax and enjoy the sensual experience.

7. Give something you wouldn't want to get.
It's human nature to give gifts that we consider valuable. But this may not be your loved one's idea of a romantic gift. Consider giving your partner something only he or she would enjoy - a gift certificate to a favorite store, paid tuition for a desired class, or supplies/equipment for a cherished hobby.

I hope these ideas help you to make it a memorable anniversary. Or at least inspire you to come up with some creative ideas of your own. When making plans for your anniversary, remember the words of Robert A. Heinlein: "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

by Katie B. Marsh

IS MOVING ON AFTER A BREAKUP THE ONLY COURSE OF ACTION TO TAKE?

2009-08-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

When a relationship falls apart to the point where a decision to go separate ways is made, does that mean the love affair is over? Most people would say yes to that question. But the truth is that it does not have to be that way. You can still have the relationship you've always wanted because moving on after a breakup doesn't have to mean giving up. It can also mean fighting to get your ex back.

Obviously, the first step is admitting and acknowledging the breakup. You have to start somewhere. So why not make the first step YOUR first move towards rekindling the relationship by agreeing with the breakup. Sounds contradictory but think of it this way - Your ex would never have expected this of you. They think you're going to go crazy trying to call them at all hours of the day and night, texting them 24/7, and so on.

Now you want to give your ex some space. Remember, they think you are going crazy crying your eyes out over them, talking everybody's ear off about the break up, pining away for them. So when they don't hear a peep from you, or, better yet, when they talk to your friends and hear them say that you are your usual self, now they'll start to wonder, "What's going on?"

Then you want to deal with your past issues. Face it, the breakup happened for a reason. That reason could possibly be you. So be honest with yourself, were you too demanding, were you too selfish or inconsiderate, or maybe you were paranoid, wanting to know their every move. IF that's the case, then you have to fix that. If the case is that THEY fit into one of those categories, then prepare yourself to deal with that issue when the time is right.

Right about now you should be beginning to get a little antsy about getting back together, so the next step is to be patient. As hard as that may sound, still, you have to be patient. Don't scare your ex off by suddenly rushing into trying to get back together. Go slow, and exercise a little patience.

Your cell phone rings and it's your ex. What do you do? Well... answer it, dummy! BUT do not be available to talk. You're running an errand for your boss or a friend or a neighbor... you get the idea, and you can't talk right now. Ask them to call back later. IMPORTANT: Make sure that they are calling you back later, not the other way around. Once they have demonstrated an interest, they've given the lead to you. Keep it no matter what.

Stay socially active. You want your ex to know, through back channels, that you are not wasting away over them. Sometimes breakups are about teaching a lesson. YOU are supposed to crawl back to them and acknowledge to them that YOU need them. If you're out living your life, happy without them, then maybe they'll think you aren't coming back to them. And people want what they perceive they can't have.

By Gerald Rucker

Marriage Advice Problem- New ways to strengthen your marriage

2009-08-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

When you're looking for marriage problems advice, you know that your marriage is on rocky ground. You didn't plan on having marital problems when you got walked down the aisle. But many couples face serious issues in their relationship after being together for several years. You need to find new ways to strengthen your marriage and avoid the heartache that comes with a failed relationship:

Keep Your Relationship Interesting

Have you noticed that your marriage has slowly slipped from being lively to one that's revolving around daily chores and petty bickering? You find yourself in countless arguments with your spouse over seemingly insignificant things. You've stopped having much interest in what your spouse has to say about anything and possibly vice versa.
What you've got to do is keep your relationship interesting! That's one of the best marriage problems advice that you'll hear from friends and counselors. You don't always have to do everything together. Have different hobbies and spend time away from each other with your friends. Indulge in recreational pursuits independently of each other. You'll find that when you get home, you have a lot to talk about. And you'll bring that energy and enthusiasm into your home, spicing up tired routines and infusing liveliness into your daily activities as a couple.

Keep A Lid On Your Anger

Stress is a major cause of marital breakdowns. The underlying issues could range from emotional neglect to lack of appreciation. One partner feels threatened or emotionally traumatic and vents their outrage in a torrent of verbal abuse. Your spouse will not easily forget your angry words. And when you've calmed down, you'll probably regret the inconsiderate accusations you hurled in a fit of pique. Reliable marriage problems advice will counsel you to rein in your anger. Don't react immediately to annoying situations with your spouse. Deal with petty irritations rationally, without investing too much emotional currency in the outcome. Speak calmly with your partner and explain the issue. You may find it easier to phrase your thoughts if you write down what you feel.

Keep Your Promises

Generally both parties to a marriage have contributed to its troubles. Marriage problems advice are necessary when one or both of you have not kept your side of the marriage bargain. When you've defaulted on promises made or indulged in destructive behaviors, your marriage will eventually suffer from the strain. Learn to say sorry for things that you've done which have broken the relationship. Apologize for bad behavior and show your partner you've changed your attitude with concrete actions. Be sure to hold firm to your promises and confirm that your assurances are not written in sand. You won't need marriage problems advice for much longer when you abide by this simple rule.

By Howard Cantrell

3 mistakes women usually do during sex

2009-08-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

Most women find themselves frustrated and disappointed when it comes to sex --- and the blaming it all to their men. Have you ever wondered if maybe you're doing it all wrong? You need a little self-examination and ask yourself if you're also doing your share when it comes to sex. Making love is one of the most pleasurable enjoyable activities for lovers you should definitely be grateful of.
Below are the top three mistakes women usually do during sex --- find out how to make it sizzling instead!

Making him do all the work. Are you lying there like a log all night? Have you been contended by just taking off your clothes and letting your man to the work? Initiate sex for a change. Moan, groan and let him know you're having a great time. Turning you on makes you man turned on so go ahead and let it show.

Being insecure of your body. Feeling too fat? You think you're not sexy enough? A woman who takes pride and is comfortable in her own skin will make you look more desirable --- men love their women who are confident for what they are.

Expecting him to read your mind. Let him know what you want --- tell him what's on your mind! Men are not mind readers so it's your responsibility to let him know about your wants and needs --- believe me, he'll be more than happy to comply.

By Mark Hamilton

Ways To get noticed in a room full of Women

2009-08-11T11:51:00.000-07:00

Many a times men have been in places where there were so many other people that they just couldn't get any attention from the ladies themselves. Well for that to happen, you've got to stand out from the crowd. Being plain and boring won't help you. When it comes to picking up girls, learn to take risks.

Start with the way you look and the way you dress. Don't opt for the usual t-shirt or plain shirt. Go for something a bit funkier or a look that is classier. That's going to make you stand out from the crowd for sure. If you have a good physique, then wear clothes that show it off.
After all, men tend to judge women mostly by their looks, the same should go for those ladies too. So make an effort to look good or you can forget about getting any attention. Try and make the most of your looks, use it to your advantage!

Another thing that can attract any lady anywhere is smell. You should use a good perfume or aftershave. That will get you some attention. Also make sure that you take a shower before going out. The last person that a lady would want to go is go out with a smelly man or an unshaved man.

If you smoke or drink, try not to do that it. Many women do not like it when men smell of cigarettes or beer. You can restrain yourself for at least a day!
Another interesting thing to do would be to go through a few magazines or self help books. You might just come across something very helpful out there. These books may just turn out to be very interesting to read.

Try out these steps and you can enter into a jungle filled with women and I assure you, you will emerge victorious. So if you are standing in a room filled with women and you wish to attract the attention of that particular girl you should be outgoing, extra smart and should follow the above mentioned steps.

By Dave Pellegrini

Relationship Advice - How To Control Your Temper

2009-08-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

This article contains relationship advice on how to control your temper. If there is one thing I want to say to every person in the world that is seeking relationship advice, it's this: to make your life easier and better, learn one thing - learn how to control your temper. I know it's very hard to control when stupid people do stupid things, but you have no choice in the matter. An angry person does things a calm person will not do.

Anger is like being on drugs or being drunk.It can make you do things you will regret forever, and you may not even remember doing them.
I can't count the number of people in prison today because they couldn't control their temper. I have seen perfectly normal people get mad and lose it, and from that moment on their life is HELL. As a young person, once you start acting out on your anger it is worse then trying to get off heroin. So start practicing how to control it now. Anger turns you into someone ugly that nobody will be happy with. Knowing how to control your temper is a part of knowing yourself. If you have anger issues, you'd better fix it and fix it now or your life won't be worth spit. So let's talk about how to control it.

Let's say you're driving and you get cut off by some idiot. Before you yell and flip them off, you are going to make a choice not to do that. Yes, you will be making a choice. Your whole life is about choices, and you need to make the choice not to get upset. You may have made the choice in the direction of anger so many times it is almost automatic, but you need to choose otherwise. If this is you, we have a lot of work to do, but you can still make the right choice, and every time you choose not to get angry the choice the next time will be easier to make.

You may have to keep notes on your dash. You may have to write it and recite it every night: "I will not loose my temper", over and over. Find a way to remind yourself, but you will have to make yourself choose to let it go. This is the best relationship advice you can ever receive. Keeping your temper in check will help you keep your relationship intact.

I used to have a small problem with my temper and I made myself choose not to do it. I read a phrase that helped me. One of the greatest science fiction writers of all time gave me the inspiration to make the right choice. I hope it helps you too so here goes - A fictional character named Hobart Malloy said, Wow, think about that! VIOLENCE IS THE LAST REFUGE OF THE INCOMPETENT. This simple phrase said by a fictional character helped me overcome my anger. I realized the truth of this phrase.

I am not incompetent. I have always considered myself a smart person, and after I read that, it was like a light bulb went off in my head. I am too smart to be called incompetent so I learned to think ahead, and make sure I didn't get myself in a position to lose my temper. If there was something that made me upset I avoided it until there was a time that I could deal with it. I made the decision in my life to live by not loosing my temper in order to live a happier life, and it worked. Now you can either do as I did and use my saying, or use one of your own, but you need to do something and do it soon. Your relationships depend on it.

by Monte Jamison, a Relationship Guide

20 Love Questions To Ask Your Partner

2009-08-08T14:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered what 20 love questions you should ask to see if you and your partner are really in love? Well, there are millions of question to ask from personal to just plain funny and here are 20 love questions just to help you know where to start and what to ask to see if you two are really compatible and if it is really love.

1. At what point in our relationship did you fall in love with me? It's always nice to know when that special someone fell in love with you.

2. What is one thing that made you fall in love with me? It is nice to know what it is that made them fall in love with you in the first place.

3. What did you think the first time you saw me? It is nice to see what it was that they were attracted to.

4. If you were rich where would we go and why? This is a fun question because now you know you can save and maybe actually take that trip one day.

5. What is your biggest dream in life? This one out of the 20 love questions you may actually be able to help them fulfill this dream.

6. Have you ever lied to me and if so what about? Don't worry if you find out they have lied in the beginning just know that they are trying to make it right by telling you the truth.

7. Do you see us being together for a long time? This question you will help you prepare for the future. Whether it is with this person or without them.

8. Is there anyone thing that you would wont to change about our relationship? Use this one to see if there is anything that you could change to better your relationship.

9. Is there anything you want to change about yourself?

10. Where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years?

11. What is your favorite place to go on any given day?

12. Do you see yourself having children one day? This particular one out of the 20 love questions let's you see if you two are ever going to agree on if and how many children you want together.

13. As a child did you see yourself doing what you are doing today?

14. Has the attraction you have for me changed since we got together?

15. Do you believe in date nights?

16. If we were on vacation just you and I would we wear pajamas to bed?

17. What's one romantic thing you would do for me? This question is my favorite out of the 20 love questions.

18. Would you serve me breakfast in bed?

19. Would you like to be served breakfast in bed?

20. If you could have one meal in bed what would it, be?

Take this time and ask 20 love questions and actually listen to your partner. You will find out so much about the other person and it will allow you to see where you two are headed.

by Roy Maloney

Are You And Your Partner Compatiable But Have No Seual Chemistry?

2009-08-07T01:33:00.000-07:00

Are you and your partner compatible but have no sexual chemistry? If you are struggling with this issue, you are not alone. My experience is that all great relationships have both chemistry and compatibility.

1. If you feel this is a problem, it is. Ignoring it makes it worse.

This problem does not go away, no matter what excuses you make or how much you want it to disappear.
Actually, over time, it gets worse.

2. You are not being selfish to want both - you deserve it.

Ask yourself: Do I deserve to have both a best friend and a lover?
And mostly, do you deserve love?

3. You cannot talk yourself into chemistry or compatibility.

There is only one thing sadder than two people who have good sexual chemistry yet can't seem to be good friends, and that is best friends who just don't have that sexual chemistry.
Oftentimes, best friends stay together and deny their sexual nature; resentment usually builds over time.
"Trying" to feel chemistry is impossible - either it is there or it is not.

4. When you have both, the relationship grows in a healthy way.

All healthy relationships have both chemistry and friendship; this is what allows the partnership to grow and flourish.

The only way to make-up is with friendship and chemistry. Chemistry draws us back to other person even when we are angry and friendship makes us glad we got over our differences.
And this is the cycle - and both are needed to complete the circle.

By Chandra Alexander

7 Tips Guaranteed To Build Trust In A Relationship

2009-08-07T01:30:00.000-07:00

Often times in a relationship you may find things have become a little stale and boring. This can happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes what makes the relationship really gel are things you don't always think of naturally. For example many people think they always need to "spice things up" This can backfire on you. Being predictable is often more desirous in a relationship than variety.

This article will deal with 7 steps that are guaranteed to grow your relationship by improving the level of trust between yourself and your partner.

As I mentioned above, you need to be somewhat predictable. By this I don't mean boring, but consider that trust in your relationship is built on your reliability from day to day. This goes against the common thought that you need to be constantly stirring things up. Of course going to a different restaurant or surprising your partner with a vacation or gift can be nice, but keep in mind that you need to keep things somewhat consistent in order for your relationship to flourish.

One of the most important aspects to consider when you think of how to build trust in a
relationship is your personal communication, specifically your words and your actions. If you say you are happy but you are frowning or acting sad all the time, your words are not matching your body language and your partner will pick up on this. Your partner needs to be able to trust that you mean what you say. When your actions match your words, then you are working toward building trust in the relationship.

Thirdly, you need to possess an honest belief in the competency of your partner. If you do not, you will not have the trust that your relationship desperately needs. Although the truth hurts sometimes, when communicated in a sensitive manner, it is never destructive. Deep down inside if you do not feel that your partner is competent you are indeed violating the trust in the relationship.

Here's a biggy. Don't keep secrets from your mate. This is a sure fire way to destroy trust in any relationship. You should always be open and honest with your partner. A good assumption to make is that everything you know will eventually come out in the open. Keeping secrets just takes too much energy and its way to easy to slip up. When that happens once again you have destroyed the trust in your relationship. Better to spend that energy in to building trust in the relationship.

The fifth tip here deals with you and your needs. Don't be afraid to communicate to your mate what your needs are. Don't try and make them guess what you need. Take care of yourself, but do not become selfish. Once you begin to assert yourself in this manner your partner will then become more comfortable in communicating their needs to you and the end result is more trust in the relationship.

Sometimes it's okay to say no. It is a positive aspect when both you and your partner are communicating your needs to each other. But keep in mind that you don't always have to agree with everything especially if something makes you uncomfortable. Your partner will never respect you if you never say no. Refusing to submit to the other person's will can actually help to build trust in a relationship.

Lastly, don't be afraid to pursue change and growth within yourself. In order for you two to grow together, sometimes you have to dig in the dirt a little. This can be painful, but through that pain you are setting the stage for future growth in the relationship. Challenge the difficult and don't be afraid to grow and change.

In conclusion when you decide to take the steps to build trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter uncomfortable scenarios and you will experience pain from time to time. These are good signs! This means that the work you are doing will definitely help to build trust in your relationship and will ultimately strengthen your bond as a couple.

By Brain Mashon

Soul Mate Searching- Your Top 4 Tips For Finding Your Ideal Partner

2009-08-07T01:15:00.000-07:00

I believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone. But most people don't create the opportunity for this special union. Too many people hang on to a dead beat because they are scared of being alone, fearing that they will never find someone else, so they put up with what they've got. They clutter up their life with someone who just gets in the way!

But "better the devil you know" does NOT apply to love relationships!

If you've not found your ideal partner yet, then start now. Don't be afraid of the journey that is Soul Mate searching. Finding your ideal partner should be fun - not scary!

Treat it like a military exercise - anything that puts it on the front burner and makes it a priority in your life. Nothing worthwhile comes easily, so be prepared to do a bit of work, and invest some time and energy into the process.

This is a serious exercise. Your future happiness depends on it. You owe it to yourself to do everything you can to bring your soul mate into your life.

Top Tip #1 - Learn to love yourself

No one will love you unless you love yourself.
We aren't all supermodels, so make sure you don't put yourself down. Concentrate on the positives about yourself. We all have something special that our soul mate is searching for.

Top Tip #2 - Get Gorgeous

You won't attract the attention of anyone, let alone your soul mate, unless you are at the top of your game. That means eating well, taking at least some moderate exercise, and presenting yourself in the best possible light.
Strive to look your best at all times. You will get noticed - by the right person too.

Top Tip #3 - Make Your Wish List

Make a wish list of all the character traits, personality traits, physical characteristics, personal qualities and values of the person you are seeking. This "picture" of your ideal partner will be close to your true soul mate. Write this down so you are clear about who you are looking for.

Top Tip #4 - Send Your Message Out There

Make sure that the world, and the Universe knows what you are after. You should try and do this with all means possible. Get out into the world - literally. Don't hide yourself away.
Cast the message out to the widest audience. Do this through prayers, positive affirmations and proclaimations - whatever you can do to spread the word of your intentions. It will be heard.
You'll be surprised at what happens to you!

by Alison Yates